Crafty Mom

New knit Santa hat!

2011-11-10T17:13:00.001-08:00

New Santa Hat!

Here is an adorable new knit Santa hat that I just made for a friends little boy. I can't wait to see pictures of him in it :)

This hat is available for $35.00 in my Etsy shop. www.etsy.com/shop/GBHYarnCrafts

Gavin Bryan is here :o) Lots of pictures!

2010-03-10T08:21:00.001-08:00

Well I'm officially the worst blogger ever, but I will make it up with pictures!

Quick birth story: I went in for my 37 week appointment and I was still having a lot of contractions. Dr B thought he may have flipped so she sent me for an U/S. She said if he flipped I was to go home and labor there and she would see me in the morning, if he was still breech to go straight to the hospital. Well we got to Dr. K's office and I was hooked up to the monitors. I was contracting every 2 minutes, then I got the U/S...Still breech! Mr. H was in shock! We went home, he took a shower and we went to the hospital. We waited around for a few hours, and I went in to surgery at 4:30 pm. Everything went very quickly from there. They did the spinal, laid me down and put the sheet up. Mr. H came in and sat right next to my head and they started.

Gavin Bryan was born at 5:09 pm, January 29, 2010, 7.5 oz, 19.6 inches long! Not to shabby for 3 weeks early :o)

Here are all the pictures! He was only 10 days old in these :o) All the pictures were taken by Kristen from Now and Forever Photography. She is absolutely wonderful and such a sweetheart!

37 Week update from a very bad blogger

2010-01-26T16:36:00.001-08:00

How far along? 37 weeks :o)
Total weight gain/loss: Up to 14 now. I was 16 last week but I lost 2 pounds.
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Yes and gross.
Sleep: Sleep is a joke. Last night I was up from 12:30 am until 7:30 am. I took a 3 hour nap and have been up since.
Best moment this week: I love seeing him move and make waves in my belly.
Movement: All the time and I love it (see above)
Food cravings: I'm back to grains. I made the mistake of eating out last weekend and boy did I pay for that. Not fun getting so sick when your so very round!
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: No progress since 35 weeks. I go from being scared that he is going to make an early appearance to him not wanting to come out! Hopefully by Friday he will have made a little more progress.
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Check up on Friday to see if any progress has been made.

Sorry I've been slacking, I've been trying to get stuff done before the little guy gets here. Everyone keeps telling me that I should just go and have the c-section. I don't want to though, one: maybe he will turn at the last minute like I did :o), and two: why should he have to be born 3 weeks early because I'm uncomfortable and don't sleep. It's not his problem and he should get all of his time in that he needs. It would be incredibly selfish if I took him out just because I want to.

I'm kinda getting annoyed with everyone asking ever.single.day.

My Beautiful Ring- Finished Pictures :o)

2010-01-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

Well the ring is finally finished and it is even more amazing than I could have imagined. I refuse to pick it up. I am a weirdo and I don't want him to think it's o.k. to come out so I'm waiting until he is born, hahaha.

My baby shower :o)

2010-01-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

My Friend M and I. She is due 2/15

My friend E and I. She is 18 weeks along and has a cute little bump!

Amazing cupcake tower from Pink.Box.Cake. The cupcakes were red velvet, vanilla, and chocolate, and the cake was carrot cake! YUMMY!

Another shot :o)

35 Weeks & Update

2010-01-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

How far along? 35 weeks :o)
Total weight gain/loss: Up 2 so 13 total
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Yes and gross.
Sleep: Sleep stinks, but I found out that the couch is my friend. I sleep much better there.
Best moment this week: I love seeing him move and make waves in my belly.
Movement: All the time and I love it (see above)
Food cravings: I eat everything now. I think he dropped so I have a lot more room :o)
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: UGH unfortunately. We had a scare last Monday. I'll talk about it more in my update.
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Check up on Friday to make sure everything is ok.

So last Monday I had my normal check up and I had a growth U/S done, I mentioned that I wasn't feeling him as much as normal so my ob/gyn decided that since I was already going to the peri I should be hooked up to the monitoring belts. Well the u/s went great, little man was weighing in at 5.05 lbs (yay!!!) but when I got hooked up to the monitoring belts the nurse came in and then called the Peri in. I knew something was wrong when they were both looking at my print outs. I was contracting every 3-5 minutes on the dot and was immediately sent to the hospital to L&D. I got right in and was hooked up to all the belts and I had an IV put in. I was apparently dehydrated so I got two bags of fluids pumped into me, along with a shot to calm the contractions down. I got sent home on modified bed rest. I went for another check up on Friday and I was put on a stricter bed rest for at least 10 days. The good news it that I'm not dilated, the bad news is that with all these contractions I can go into labor at any time and start dilating. If this happens little man is gonna be taken out since he is still breech.

SOOOO.... as of today I have to keep him inside for at least another 7 days. If I can make it to 36 weeks my Dr is confident that he would not need to spend any time in the NICU. I go for another check up on Friday to see if I made any progress and to check to make sure things are still good.

In other news Mr. H started his new job training. He really likes it and I'm so proud of him :o)

34 weeks

2009-12-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

How far along? 34 weeks :o)
Total weight gain/loss: As of my last appointment I was down a pound, so 11.
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Yes and gross.
Sleep: Sleep stinks
Best moment this week: I love seeing him move and make waves in my belly.
Movement: All the time and I love it (see above)
Food cravings: Today it was sour gummy worms.
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 5 weeks. ThankYouVeryMuch!
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Going for a growth scan and check up on Monday 1/4/10

Lots of changes are going on. The biggest and most important one is that Mr. H got the job!!! He got hired last week and will start on the 4th! Very exciting and very nerve wracking. It's is dream job, but he took a 21K pay cut. Can you say PUKE. Another kicker...no health insurance coverage for the first 90 days. We have to get CO. BRA coverage for 3 months, on a much smaller salary. Those are the negatives. The positives are that he is really happy, and that is my number one priority. He gets a pension, no more putting money into a 401K. Health insurance is only 30 dollars a month compared to 200. We rented the house so we will be saving a lot of money on the mortgage every month. It will all work out some how, it's going to be pretty tight for the first few months though.

It's going to be hard for the first 2-3 years but totally worth it in the long run. Like I always say, nothing worth while ever comes easily. It makes us appreciate it more. A good example is our little man :o)

31 weeks & Growth Scan update

2009-12-14T17:55:00.000-08:00

How far along? 31 weeks :o)
Total weight gain/loss: back to 12- I haven't seemed to gain anything in 3 weeks according to the Peri's electronic scale
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Yes and gross. They multiply quickly and they get bigger in the blink of an eye.
Sleep: Ehh, it's on and off, depends whats on my mind. I have been sleeping with my feet where my head is supposed to be. I'm sure Mr. H loves that, lol. I don't know why but it seems to help keeping me sleeping.
Best moment this week: Seeing the little guy today at his growth scan
Movement: All the time and I love it
Food cravings: Anything that doesn't make me get up in the middle of the night. Pretty much anything that tastes good makes me get sick. I'm stuck with bread products lately.
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 8 weeks. ThankYouVeryMuch!
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Christmas, my birthday (the 28th) New years and My shower. It's going to be a very busy few weeks!

Today I had another growth scan. Little man is now measuring 33weeks 1 day. The u/s tech always asks me to guess how much he weighs before the computer says it, so I guessed 3.12 since that seemed to be his pattern for the last few weeks. Not so much this appointment...He weighs a whopping 4.04 lbs! If my calculations are correct that is a pound and a half weight gain in 3 weeks, a half a pound a week! WOWZERS
The u/s tech said that I should expect an 8 to 9 pound baby if I make it to 39 weeks. Of course there is always a chance I may go early. He is still breech, his head and feet are nice and snug in my rib cage area. I was told he can still turn, or he may not. The bigger her gets the harder it will be for him to turn, so we will see what the next few weeks brings.

I will post pictures tomorrow, I have to get them on the computer. He is getting kinda squished so the pictures aren't as clear as some of the earlier ones.

30 weeks

2009-12-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

How far along? 30 weeks :o)
Total weight gain/loss: plus 1 this week for a total of 13 lbs total
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Yes and gross. There are now two, they are all the way on the bottom of my belly, one patch on each side. I've been lubing up so much you could probably deep fry me.
Sleep: Ehh, seems to be an O.K. week
Best moment this week: Hearing little man today
Movement: All the time and I love it
Food cravings: Anything that doesn't make me get up in the middle of the night. I've been getting pretty sick from certain foods. Pizza of all kinds, chicken fingers & french fries.
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 9 weeks. ThankYouVeryMuch!
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Next weeks growth scan :o) We will see how big this baby is. Last week he was 2.12 lbs at 28 weeks. Almost 3 lbs! The u/s tech said that he will start gaining a lot very quickly starting around 32 weeks so I'm interested to see how much he grew in the three weeks from the last growth scan.

In other news, we finally got a renter for our townhouse!!! I'm beyond excited by the news and right around Christmas. It is really a blessing from God, I can't even begin to tell you how much easier this is going to make things around the H household.

My 30 week appointment went well today, very quick as usual. I love hearing the baby's heartbeat, I could listen to it all day and night long. I told her that I was feeling crampy from time to time and she said that I was having B/H contractions and that I should expect them to get stronger and more frequent as the weeks go by. Isn't that wonderful...not so much. She said if I have them for 2 hours to call her other than that not to worry. Oh and little man is still breech. He better turn his cute little butt around soon!

Picture to follow :o)

An early morning complaint & bad dream

2009-12-04T05:32:00.001-08:00

I'm sorry, I try really hard not to complain about anything that is related to carrying my son. If you don't want to read, I totally understand.

1. I can't breath
2. My rib cage feels like it's going to split at the sternum (and there are still another 10 weeks to go)
3. I don't sleep, and when I do it's for short periods of time (Yes...I know...good practice)
4. I got stretch marks (they multiply very quickly btw)
5. My back hurts All.The.Time

There I'm done. I feel a little better getting that out. Please don't think that I'm ungrateful. I am so very luck that I got this far without any major complaints. I think I've just hit the uncomfortable, feeling giant stage. Knowing that it only gets worse is making me feel like a jerk for complaining now

I had a dream last night that I was a terrible mother. That I had no clue what I was doing and that all baby H did was cry and I couldn't soothe him. I feel like a bad mommy and he isn't even here yet.

What the heck is wrong with me today?!?!?!

29 Weeks and updates

2009-12-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

How far along? 29w!
Total weight gain/loss: no weight gained this week. I was at the peri on Monday and I'm still the same +12
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? I JUST found one when I was taking the picture this week. It just showed up out of no where and it wasn't there yesterday. WTF!
Sleep: Terrible this week
Best moment this week: Seeing the little guy on Monday :o)
Movement: All the time and I love it
Food cravings: Still Cereal
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 10 weeks
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Two weeks for another growth scan. I'll be 31 weeks!!! How freaking crazy is that!

Good news is that I DO NOT have the diabetes. So that was pretty great to find out, and my amnio fluid wend down by 3. It was 23 and now it's 20. The u/s lady said 10-20 is normal, so I'm still on the high side, but the Peri said not to worry since it went down and it's now in the normal range. Little man has been moving all around and seems to have a schedule. He wake's up about every 3 hours it seems.

I've been really busy making a ton of baby hats for my etsy.com orders (see side bar if you would like one), and school has been making me crazy. I REALLY HATE chemistry. I don't know if it's the teacher or what, but it's so freaking hard. I should have gotten a tutor from the very beginning but I didn't so now I'm screwed. The only good thing is that I am doing really well in the lab part of the class, it's my only saving grace right now.

The ring... revisited

2009-11-25T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well a few weeks ago I posted about a beautiful ring I was going to have made, and then I posted that we couldn't get it at this time because of Mr H's career change.

Well...today I went to pick up my rings and pendants that were going to be use to make the ring and I was told that they already sent the casting out. I explained to them what was going on and they were kind enough to let me know that it was no rush and that I could pay for it in increments. Now I HAVE to save money for this. It is going to be beautiful, I know it will, they made my wedding bands, and several other pieces of jewelry I have, but I am a little upset they didn't wait for me. Maybe they just figured that I would have it done since I left my stuff there for 2 weeks (MY BAD).

Yay for getting a beautiful new piece of jewelry, an heirloom if you will. BOO for having to spend that extra money.

28 Weeks

2009-11-25T04:35:00.000-08:00

How far along? 28w!
Total weight gain/loss: Up another 4 lbs for a grand total of 12lbs! Getting kinda scary on that scale, i'm not gonna lie.
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Nope, I'm still holding out
Sleep: It's been pretty great this week. (yes I know I just jinxed myself)
Best moment this week: Seeing little man again at our growth scan
Movement: All the time and I love it
Food cravings: Cereal
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 12 weeks
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Next Tuesday, we get to see little man again.

We had our normal 28 week checkup with Dr B. that went well, although she felt around and said that he was head down, but he isn't, lol. I spoke to her about being induced because of Mr. H (if he gets the new job). She said she was planning on inducing me Friday, February 12th anyway so it works out nicely. Of course she has no power if I go earlier on my own, but 2/12/10 is what we are shooting for.

I had my GD test done, the orange drink tasted like a melted orange freezie pop. I pretty much chugged it so I wouldn't have to taste it that long. It was so sweet it burned my throat. Hopefully I will get my results back tomorrow.

We also had our growth u/s yesterday. I was hoping this would be the last one until 32 weeks, but no such luck. Although little man has gained a whole pound (1.12 lbs to 2.12 lbs) in 3 weeks, which is excellent, the u/s showed that my amniotic fluid is slightly increased. Not a good thing for someone who is only 28 weeks along. Dr K (the peri) said that if I was farther along it would be o.k. but the increased fluid causes more contractions and that is not a good thing. We want to keep him in there as long as possible. Dr K. said that it is probably from GD and not a big deal, but if it's not I have to go on yet another medicine to lower it. Boo. Either way I have to go back WEEKLY so he can monitor the situation.

Like my Mom and Grandma always say "There is always something to pray for".

On another note I saw an old co-worker from years ago at my apt on Monday and at my GD test yesterday. She is super sweet and we only had a few minutes to chat. She said this is her 4th pregnancy and her and her husband have been trying for 2 years for another LO. They already have a beautiful little girl who is 6 (a surprise). Isn't it ironic that they were young and had a surprise pregnancy and now that they are older (late 20's) they are having so many issues. It's just not fair what our bodies do to us. She seemed broken and quite understandably. In our short talk I let her know that we also had 2 m/c's and that it took us 2 years to get this far so I understood. It's so hard to see someone that feels pain because of your belly. I honestly never thought I would be that person. If you can spare a few extra prayers for J and her family it would be greatly appreciated. Pray that this is her sticky baby and she doesn't have to go through that pain again.

xoxo

Homemade Hats From An Expecting Mom

2009-11-18T13:21:00.001-08:00

Homemade Hats From An Expecting Mom

Posted using ShareThis

27 week update

2009-11-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

How far along? 27w
Total weight gain/loss: last dr/s appt I was up 8, although I am positive i'm up from that...probably around 11 or 12 by now.
Maternity clothes? All maternity all the time
Stretch marks? Nope, I'm still holding out
Sleep: Sometimes I get a lot... sometimes I wake up and can't go back to sleep...
Best moment this week: Just feeling his move and squiggle around
Movement: All the time and I love it
Food cravings: Seems like I want to eat everything. Everything does not like to be eaten though. I have entered the land of heart burn.
Gender: Still a little boy :o)
Labor Signs: NO. And it can stay that way for another 13 weeks
What I miss: Sleeping like a normal human being
What I am looking forward to: Next Monday when I get to see little man again for his hopefully last growth scan. If all looks well at this next one we are in the clear from the strange vara.cella business my body thinks is funny. Then it's hopefully smooth sailing from there!

I can't sleep

2009-11-18T01:29:00.001-08:00

Well it's about 4:30 am here and I can't sleep. I've been up for about an hour now and I have a million things racing through my mind.

Mr. H is very close to getting a new job, he will find out by the 23rd. It is a great job, but he will have to take a pay cut in the beginning. This totally scares me. The ring I posted about is now on hold, because it's not a necessity...paying bill's however is.

If he gets hired he will go away to "boot camp" for 14 weeks starting December.15.th. That means that he will be away for the birth of the baby, and almost a month after he is born. He will be able to come home on the weekends but it still scares the crap out of me. I can't help to think about myself a little bit in this situation. How on earth am I going to be able to take care of a newborn, and two dogs...alone?

I know that he is also worried about everything. If he is making the right decision, if he will be able to make it through boot camp, if he will like the new job. It's a stressful time around the H household lately. I am doing my very best to give supportive words of encouragement. I 'm trying so hard not to let on how scared I am, so he knows this is what he has to do for himself and the family.

I guess I'm just rambling. Like I said it's 4:30, and I can't sleep.

A new ring to celebrate our little guy

2009-11-07T04:17:00.000-08:00

A while ago my mom gave me her engagement ring that my dad gave her (she has been re-married to my step father for 23 years). It's is a decent size pear cut diamond with tiny diamonds around it, but the setting is terrible and it's set in yellow gold (which i don't wear). I knew I wanted to get it re made, but I didn't really have any reason to do it until now.

Well I was telling Mr. H that I wanted to get a new ring to celebrate the birth of our son and he said no, lol. Then I said, well I have the ring my mom gave me, maybe I can get it re-set into something and he said o.k. go and get it priced out. So that is what I did yesterday! Yay :o)

It's kinda hard to explain how I want it to look but here are a few pictures I found of things I like.

I really like this one because it reminds me of my engagement ring...kinda. So kinda picture this with a round of sapphires around the round of small diamonds surrounding the center stone.

This is my engagement ring. It has 3 round diamonds a split diamond band with marquis shaped diamonds on the top and bottom of the larger stone. Sorry the pic is so small.

This one is the wrong shape but amazing. I really love the art deco style. So picture this with a round of diamonds around the center stone then a round of sapphires. The sapphires would be smaller than these though.

So I go this afternoon to see what they thought of and to see how much it will be, I'll keep you posted!

25 Weeks & lots of pictures!

2009-11-02T15:21:00.001-08:00

Me on Halloween. I made this t-shirt (Magic 8 Ball). A friend gave me the idea :o)

How far along? 25 weeks, but if you go by little man measurements it's 26 weeks

Total Weight Gain? Still 8 lbs.

Maternity Clothes? Yuppers. My regular shirts are now too short to wear.

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? Still yucky and getting worse every night. Soon I won't sleep at all.

Best Moment this week? Seeing the little guy today :o)

Food Cravings? Nothing really, but I'm hungry all the time

Sex? Still a boy :o)

Labor Signs? Nope

Belly Button? It's very shallow, and creepy. Belly buttons are one thing that I skive.

What I miss the most? Sleep, but I have a long time until I can sleep through the night again. So I am accepting that the next few years may be filled with sleepless nights.

What am I looking forward to the most? The 3rd tri
Milestones? Every single day :o)

Here is a hat and mitten's that I made for little man.

Little feet!

3/4D picture. He was eating the back of his hand 2 seconds before the picture was taken.

He was scratching his head, and giving a little smile :o)

Profile shot!

Good news at the peri today. Our little guy is still measuring ahead, and looks great. Dr K. said that everything looks perfect and if all is normal with our next visit - in 3 weeks - then we are pretty much in the clear!!! His works were music to our ears, and I'm praying that he keeps up the excellent work and growing big and strong.

23 w Belly Pics- Warning...Bare Belly

2009-10-23T07:32:00.001-07:00

Please excuse the no makeup, hair not done picture. I just got out of the shower and snapped this shot.

23 weeks

2009-10-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

How far along? 23 weeks, but if you go by little man measurements it's 24 weeks

Total Weight Gain? offically up 8lbs. I gained 4lbs in the last month and was told to "watch it". Not really the best thing to tell a pregnant lady...

Maternity Clothes? Yes, but I still fit in most of my regular shirts, and a few pairs of pants.

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? Yucky. I usually don't sleep at night and wait for Mr. H to leave for work in the morning and get about 2 hours of good sleep (or until Chloe the boxer decides she is bored and wants to go out).

Best Moment this week? feeling harder kicks & rolls

Food Cravings? Nothing really, but I'm hungry all the time

Sex? Still a boy :o)

Labor Signs? No, but these BH things are not cool. Even though they don't hurt and aren't very often they freak me out.

Belly Button? it's starting to creep me out. It's getting all shallow, and flat. Very gross

What I miss the most? not much

What am I looking forward to the most? V-Day, one more week!
Milestones? Every single day :o)

22 weeks (or is it 23?)

2009-10-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

How far along? 22 weeks, but if you go by little man measurements it's 23 weeks

Total Weight Gain? +9 as of Monday. I finally put some weight on...and fast!

Maternity Clothes? Yes, but I still fit in most of my regular shirts, and a few pairs of pants.

Stretch Marks? nope

Sleep? sucks, it's an evil way of preparing us for when the babies are here.

Best Moment this week? feeling harder kicks. Little man got me so hard the other day I thought Mr. H elbowed me in his sleep, poor guy was sound asleep on the other side of the bed, lol.

Food Cravings? Nothing really, but I'm hungry all the time

Sex? Its a Boy!

Labor Signs? No, thank God

Belly Button? it's starting to creep me out. It's getting all shallow, and flat. Very gross

What I miss the most? not much

What am I looking forward to the most? V-Day, almost there!
Milestones? Every single day :o)

Frist Growth u/s

2009-10-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well we had our first growth u/s this past Monday and I'm am more than happy to let you know that everything is looking great! Dr K. said that there is no bright spots in his brain or kidneys, and that his legs and arms have full range of motion.

I was freaking out inside, and trying not to let anyone know, but I am so very relieved that everything looks good.

Little man is even measuring a full week ahead (22w 5d) and weighed in at a whopping 1.2 lbs :o) This brings us to February 10th, eeekk!

I have some new pictures for your viewing pleasure

I'm here...sorry

2009-10-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted in a while, sorry about that.

My varacella is still slightly elevated. We had to have a consult with the Peri. Not fun. He said that there is a 5-10% chance that the baby can be affected. We don't have any varacella blood work from before I was pregnant so we don't know if my levels have always been this way, or if I was "re-activated" in the beginning of the pregnancy.

It's scary, and even though the chances are higher if I was showing symptoms (of the chicken pox), I'm still scared for my little man. I pray every single day that he is 100% healthy, and normal.

So the good news (I try to always look at a silver lining) is that we get to see him every three weeks until we hit 34 weeks. They do this to make sure he is growing correctly, if he was sick he would have calcification of his arms legs and head. VERY SCARY.

So... we will be getting a lot more pictures of little man :o)

IT'S A ....

2009-09-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe that my intuition was right! It was totally amazing yesterday, we got to see every little part of our little man. Thank GOD that everything looks perfect :D the Dr. said that everything was exactly as it should be!!! I even got a complement from Dr K., he thanked me for being skinny. I laughed at him, but he was serious, he said "since I am slim it's really easy for him to find and look at everything". Thanks Dr K!

Now for the pictures :D :D :D

P.S.- I can't wipe the smile off my face :o)

Happy ICLW Everyone

2009-09-21T06:49:00.000-07:00

Hello to all the ICLW'ers and welcome.

I will tell you a little about myself. My name is Gina and I'm married to Mr. H, we have been married for 2 years as of September 15th! We have been trying to have a baby since a month before we got married. We tried on our own for a year, then we went to an RE (RE#1). We were with her for 5 iui's and many many months. We suffered through two miscarriages and lots of failed cycles (natural and medicated). We decided that it was time for a change and switched RE's (Re#2) and it was the best decision we could have made. We met with the Dr A. and he found out through simple blood work that I had hypothyroidism. It was a very easy fix, I take a tiny pill every morning, and with in two weeks of starting the medication I was pregnant!!!

Which brings us to today :o)

Today is the day of out BIG U/S!!! We get to see the bean (which isn't so tiny any more) again. We get to make sure that everything is going as planned and that the baby is growing as it should, and to make sure that everything is going just perfect (this is what we are praying for). Not to mention we will be finding out if we are having a boy or a girl!!! I am so grateful for making it this far, because for a while I didn't know if I would ever be able to carry a baby. I'm so grateful that I've had an amazingly easy pregnancy, and that in just about 20 weeks we will be welcoming our first child into the world.

I am also so happy that our child will be surrounded by loving grandparents, aunts and uncles, and lots of cousins! Most of which will be born just a few months before our little bean. My sister is going to have her second child in October, and my Sil will also welcome her second child in January, and we have a cousin who is due in May!

Well that's our story and I look forward to reading all of yours.

P.S.- I will be updating later with pictures and to let you know how the appointment went :o)

17w Belly picture

2009-09-10T07:08:00.001-07:00

It's growing, little by little :o)

17 Weeks!

2009-09-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

Baby's now the size of an onion!
Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. His umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes now feature one-of-a-kind prints.

How far along: 17 weeks :o)

Total weight gain/loss: 3 lbs

Maternity clothes: Bottoms, but my shirts are starting to get a little shorter lol.

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: I have been sleeping through the night for the last week!!!

Best moment last week: Making it through the week

Movement: Its so very Awesome when I feel it, but it's so random.

Food cravings: Salads

Gender: I'm sticking with Boy

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: I, although it's starting to get flatter, and I really get creeped out by popped out belly buttons. I hope it can hold on, lol

What I miss: Everything I can't eat

What I am looking forward to: my BIG U/S, scheduled for September 21st!!!

Milestones: Making it through another week :o)

I know this may sound dumb, but I honestly get so excited at the start of a new week. Like I'm amazed that I made it through another whole week and it's one week closer to me having the bean. I know how stupid it sounds but it's the truth, lol.

Nothing much going on this week. I'm waiting for the blood test results from last week. I'll probably call tomorrow and check that everything is good, if not on Friday.

I started school again last week. Organic/ Inorganic Chemistry... don't be too jealous of me. Mr. H also started his 3 classes so we have been pretty busy with homework and classes.

I am getting mucho excited about our BIG U/S, only 12 more days!!! Put in your votes if you like on the side. I'm still saying that I'm having a boy, but Mr. H said he had a "vision" last week. His vision was that he was talking to his daughter about how her Uncle M fought in the war. Random I know, but that's what he said, so now he thinks were having a girl. We will see who is right, Mothers or Fathers Instincts.

17 week belly pic will be coming on later, probably tomorrow when I actually get dressed in something other than drawstring pants.

P.S. if your bored...

16w belly pic & First baby purchase

2009-09-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

For your viewing pleasure lol

I think that this picture makes me look bigger than I actually am, but whatever.
And this little gem is my very first baby purchase! I saw it on Babysteals.com today and just had to buy it! Don't get me wrong I'm into cutsie stuff too, but I love weird, kinda funky baby clothes. I just think they are too cute for words.

16 weeks- What what!!!

2009-09-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Thanks to increasing blood flow, it's time for some major cash and prizes. Enjoy quick-growing hair and nails, smooth and firm skin, and a healthy glow. One bit of bad news -- your eyes might be feeling a little dry these days.

Baby's now the size of an avocado!
Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

How far along: 16 weeks :o)

Total weight gain/loss: 3 lbs as per the Dr. yesterday

Maternity clothes: Bottoms, but my shirts are starting to get a little shorter lol.

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: I get up once a night, but it's been getting better.

Best moment last week: Hearing the Bean again!

Movement: I'm pretty sure I've started feeling some thumps and flutters. If it's not the bean, I have some serious issues going on in there. It's totally random and usually only once or twice a day.

Food cravings: Salads

Gender: I'm sticking with Boy

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Feta

What I am looking forward to: my BIG U/S, scheduled for September 21st!!!

Milestones: Making it through another week :o)

Belly pic will come a little later.

15 weeks and boy do I love Oranges!

2009-08-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Your gums may be red and swollen (thanks, hormones), so it's extra-important to take good care of your mouth right now. Brush often, floss gently, and see your dentist if you haven't already. Also, your now-cramped chest and abdomen (baby's growing fast!) might be making you a little short of breath. Baby's now the size of a naval orange!
Continuing the march toward normal proportions, baby's legs now out-measure his arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably can't feel the movements just yet.

How far along: 15 weeks :o)

Total weight gain/loss: 2-3 lbs depending on the day

Maternity clothes: Still just bottoms

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: I get up once a night

Best moment last week: Making it through the week

Movement: I really want to start feeling this baby. Hopefully it won't be much longer.

Food cravings: Salads

Gender: I'm sticking with Boy

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Brie

What I am looking forward to: the 31st and hearing the bean on the doppler at my 16 week appointment.

Milestones: I think I felt the first tap, it happened a few times the other day, and then twice yesterday. It kinda felt like a very light thump, a few inches below my belly button. I want it to happen again and again. It was pretty cool!

Just a ramble about nothingness...and cake

2009-08-21T06:29:00.000-07:00

Well I feel like rambling and I figure this is a pretty good place to do it.

I feel cranky. My fuse is short, and little things seem to annoy me. I'm guessing it's because of the hormones. Maybe it's because we have down sized from a 3 floor town house to a 3 room area in my in-laws house. Maybe it's because I can't sleep well at night. Maybe because it's 9 million degrees in the state of NJ right now. I don't know, but I notice I'm not my happy self and I don't like it.

When I catch myself I stop being snippy, but I swear some times I don't even realize it. Bad Gina, bad.

Nothing is really going on this week. I don't have any Dr. appointments coming up. The next one is the 31st, and I think I just go for more blood work to test more things. Hopefully I will get to set up my BIG u/s. I am SO excited to find out what we are having. I'm still sticking with a boy, I don't know why but from the beginning we both felt that I am having a boy. Of course we would be just as happy with a beautiful little girl. I just REALLY think I'm having a little boy. My 20 week appointment will be just around Mr. H's birthday so I'm gonna buy him a onsie to let him know the big surprise and let him open it for a birthday present. I have to find a really cute boy and girl onsie. If you know of any, send them my way :o)

O.k. enough complaining and blabbing about nothing for today. I have to go and finish baking and icing all of the El.mo cupcakes and El.mo cake, a little 1st birthday cake (for the baby) and make a red velvet cake for my SIL's birthday.

This was the trial that I did last week. A few people said they wanted me to make cakes for them. How much would you charge to make something like this? I'll post pictures of the cupcakes, the little 1st birthday baby cake, and the red velvet cake either later today or tomorrow.

First belly picture

2009-08-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

Well here it is, my first belly picture :o)

How far along: 13 weeks :o)

Total weight gain/loss: 2 lbs- according to the Dr.

Maternity clothes: Yes, only jeans/ pants.

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: Still getting up to pee

Best moment last week: Seeing the bean on the N'T scan. Getting the wonderful news that we are in the normal range for everything.

Movement: I'm looking forward to it

Food cravings: Pizza

Gender: I'm sticking with Boy

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: A full nights sleep

What I am looking forward to: Getting through the week

Milestones: The 2nd Tri!!!

13 weeks- I made it to the 2nd trimester!!!

2009-08-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

Baby's now the size of a peach!
Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords...savor this, their nonfunctional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy -- much more convenient.

WHOO HOOOO the bean made it to the 2nd trimester!!!!! This is such a big, giant milestone for us. I'm super duper happy that we are just going right along. I got the N/T scan results back and we are with in the normal range. I didn't ask exactly what it was because I'm happy with normal. It's what I strive for in the pregnancy, lol. Normal is good and it means things are going well...just like everyone else. I also went to see Dr P. (the endocrinologist), she let me know that my TSH is still low, but it's o.k. She said she likes to keep her pregnant patients a little high. (low TSH means that my Thyroid is working on OT). I asked her if it was going to negatively effect the bean and she said no. That made me feel a little better. I'm going to have to let go of my trust issues with Dr's. It's just really hard since I got so fu@ked by the first RE. Oh well I need to let the past be the past and let the water slip underneath the bridge.

I didn't post the N/T scan picture from last week, so with out further adu here is my bean!

We have a plum!- Week 12

2009-08-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

Your baby's crown-to-rump length is almost 2.5 inches and she now weighs between 8 and 14 grams! In just three weeks, your baby's size has more than doubled and begins to look a lot more human. Even though you won't be able to feel your baby moving at this time, you can stimulate him and he will squint, open his mouth and move his fingers or toes.

By the end of this week, your uterus is too large to remain completely in your pelvis. You might be able to feel your uterus above your pubic bone. The uterus will continue to grow throughout your pregnancy and will return to its usual size within a few weeks after delivery. Before pregnancy, the uterus is almost solid and holds less than 0.3 ounces. During pregnancy, your uterus will become a thin-walled, muscular container that will hold the fetus, amniotic fluid and placenta. Before pregnancy, the uterus weighs approximately 2.5 ounces and when your baby is born, it will weigh almost 40 ounces!

Because most of the structures are already formed at this point, few will be formed after this time. The structures will continue to grow and develop throughout the remainder of your pregnancy. Your baby's skeletal system now has centers if bone formation in most of the bones. The digestive system is capable of making contractions that push food through the bowels and it is also able to absorb sugar. The pituitary gland beginning to make hormones. You will probably be able to hear your baby's heartbeat with a Doppler at this time!

This week may be the first week that you begin to feel better! Morning sickness often tends to improve or diminish at this time. You may begin to show slightly, especially if this is not your first pregnancy. You will feel more comfortable in loose clothing, such as maternity clothes. In addition to your tummy getting larger your breasts, hips, legs and sides may be getting bigger also.

Your baby develops reflexes and the skin is very sensitive.
The brain is fully formed, and the child can feel pain. the baby may even suck his thumb. The eyelids now cover the eyes, and will remain shut until the seventh month to protect the delicate optical nerve fibers.

How far along: 12 weeks :o), Holy cow almost out of the 1st trimester!

Total weight gain/loss: According to the Dr- 0, according to me 2.5

Maternity clothes: Pants/shorts and the bella band

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: has gotten much better this week

Best moment last week: Making it through the week

Movement: I'm looking forward to it

Food cravings: Carbs- still

Gender: Still thinking boy.

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Wanting to eat chicken and meat. (Just writing that sentence made me grossed out, lol)

What I am looking forward to: N/T scan tomorrow!!!

Milestones: Making it this far!

Well we have had a lot of changes in the last week. We moved for one. That was a very big change but it is for the best. We will be telling people tomorrow, so no more keeping this GIANT secret. I'm still nervous about it, I don't know why but I am. If it were up to me I wouldn't tell anyone and just let them start to guess.

...wow Gina is getting a little thick in the middle...

I am waiting for my blood work results to come back because my varacella lab came back slightly elevated. The Dr said I was her 4th pregnant lady this year to have that happen to. If they stay the same or go down we have nothing to worry about, if they shoot up we have a serious problem. Please pray with my that they go down and that our bean is perfectly healthy. The Dr also said that since I already had the chicken pox the chances of me getting it again are super duper low, and since I haven't been sick she really doesn't feel that I have anything to worry about. I am praying that she is right.

We go for the N/T scan tomorrow, YAY!!! I am so very excited to see the bean again, it's been 4 weeks with no new pictures :( I'm really praying that everything looks perfect with the baby tomorrow. I pray every single day that our bean is growing nice and healthy and just as it should.

I'll update with pictures tomorrow!

11 Weeks

2009-07-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Baby's now the size of a lime!
Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through it. But fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds, and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

How far along: 11 weeks :o)

Total weight gain/loss: Just about 3 lbs

Maternity clothes: Yes, only jeans/ pants.

Stretch marks: None

Sleep: I don't sleep well

Best moment last week: Making it through the week

Movement: I'm looking forward to it

Food cravings: Carbs

Gender: Still thinking boy. Chinese gender predictor says girl...

Labor Signs: Way to early for this

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: A full nights sleep

What I am looking forward to: OB appointment on Monday and NT scan

Milestones: 11 weeks

10 Weeks- Holy crap Double Digits!

2009-07-21T05:40:00.000-07:00

Baby's now the size of a prune!
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will start working too.)

How far along: 10 weeks! YAY for double digits, whoo hoo

Total weight gain/loss: I think maybe .5 lb, but it really depends on what time of the day I weigh myself.

Maternity clothes: Yes, only jeans/ pants.

Stretch marks: None from being pregnant, lol

Sleep: at least once a night, usually twice

Best moment last week: Hearing the bean on the doppler at my 1st OB apt yesterday!

Movement: Not yet but I'm looking forward to it

Food cravings: Still not eating meat or chicken.

Gender: Still thinking boy. Chinese gender predictor says girl...

Labor Signs: Way to early for this too

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Cold cuts- especially an Italian Sub. This is the only meat that sounds good to me.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting with the endocrinologist next Monday 11 weeks. Then going for my 2nd OB apt the following Monday, 12 weeks and then the N/T scan on August 7th!!!

Milestones: Hearing Bean's heartbeat on the doppler :o)

Holy cow I can't believe that I am in double digits. This is beyond awesome and I feel so very blessed. Both of our parents are getting pretty anxious about wanting to tell people. I keep saying that they need to wait 2 more weeks, but my mom is totally not following my rules. She has already told my grandmother, my aunts and I think someone from work. My MIL is being really great but she is totally chomping at the bit to tell everyone. I am still not too keen on telling people. I told Mr. H that maybe we should just let our friends start to guess as I get bigger, lol. I don't know why I don't really want to tell people, but I just don't feel comfortable yet. I don't know if I will ever feel comfortable until we actually have our baby in our arms. I'm pretty sure people will figure it out then, hahaha.

I have been feeling pretty crappy this week. I kinda feel sick all day long, but I read that it's pretty normal because my hormones are at a peak right now. Not throwing up so I'm feeling pretty good about that, but I'm not counting it out.

I had my 1st OB apt yesterday. It went pretty well, it was also my annual so Dr B had to do a pap. Not fun, and she made me spot. I did NOT like that. It pretty much stopped now,just a little bit of brown cm, and she told me that it is totally normal and not to worry. I'm not freaking out or anything, but it sucks big time. I am also on pelvic rest, no exercising, lifting, sex for another 3 weeks. We haven't had sex since the bfp so it's been a while and it's really starting to suck, but we both want to do what is best for Bean so that is exactly what will be done. I made my apt for next Monday with an endocrinologist to monitor my Thyroid levels, and I also made the appt for my N/T scan (August 7th). Very exciting stuff!

9 Weeks!

2009-07-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

Your little embryo has now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating heart. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, baby is kind of starting to look like... well... a baby!

How far along: 9 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Nothing so far

Maternity clothes: Yes, only jeans/ pants. I'm just too bloated to fit into my normal jeans.

Stretch marks: None from being pregnant, lol

Sleep: I wake up at least once in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Best moment last week: Hearing and seeing Bean

Movement: Way too early for that!

Food cravings: Nothing really, but I'm still not eating meat or chicken. They both really gross me out big time.

Gender: I think boy, and apparently everyone in both our families do to, lol.

Labor Signs: Way to early for this too

Belly Button in or out: In

What I miss: Non pasteurized cheeses- feta, blue cheese, fresh mozzarella.

What I am looking forward to: My 1st Ob appointment next Monday.

Milestones: Graduating from the RE :o)

I graduated

2009-07-13T14:32:00.000-07:00

YAY YAY YAY Bean had his/her 1st graduation today! We are so very excited that everything is going great and that we were released to the OB/GYN. It is going to be a bit of a transition for me from seeing the Bean every week to having to wait another 3 weeks for the NT (at 12 weeks).

I really cant believe that I'm 3 weeks away from the 2nd trimester. Its almost unreal to me and I am so grateful for every single day. I am also extremely grateful that I have been feeling pretty great. I have had some small bouts with nausea at night and I got sick one night but that's pretty much it*. I mean there are the normal things like not sleeping to great, and getting up to pee, and the bb's, but I really can not complain about any of it. I am absolutely loving everything about being pregnant, and quite honestly if I didn't KNOW I was expecting, I'm not sure I would believe someone if they told me I was, lol.

I have my 1st OB appointment next Monday. I don't know if I should tell them that I'm pregnant and that's what I'm coming in for or if I should just tell them when I get there. What do you think?

In other news I'm still unemployed and it still sucks. I've been applying to a ton of places but no one has called me back to even set up an interview.

Please continue to say prayers for my friend and her babies, she is still on bed rest.

*Please don't hate me :o)

3rd u/s- 8 weeks!

2009-07-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

Everything went great with the bean, he/she has a nice strong heart beat of 165 bpm. I still haven't graduated from the RE yet. My last beta was 98,752 and I think they want to see the numbers over 100K before they release me. God willing I will be graduating on Monday. I don't really mind too much because I get to see the bean again :) I can't believe I will be 9 weeks next week! It's kinda hard to wrap my mind around, and I feel so very blessed.

I made an OB apt for the following Monday (10 weeks!) as instructed by the RE. I haven't seen Dr A. in a few weeks, because all of the Dr's rotate. I would like to say good bye to him next week and maybe give him a card or something, I'm not sure. I'm kinda nervous about switching from the RE to the OB/GYN. I have been with Dr B. for years and I trust her, she is a good Dr and a very nice person, but I will go from being treated with kid gloves to being a "normal" person. Eeek! It's all very nerve-wracking.

If everyone can please send some prayers to a friend of mine, she has been put on bed rest with her twins. Please pray that everything starts to go back to normal and that she can carry to full term. I really appreciate it, and I know she does also.

How is everyone else doing? How are you feeling, any upcoming apts?

No u/s today. Boo.

2009-07-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

I went this morning for my blood work and u/s, but when I got to the RE's office I couldn't really get there. You see there were down power lines, so the cops had the road blocked off. I of course wasn't going to let that stop me from seeing my bean, so I found parking on the street, and nicely asked the police officer what was going on. He told me about the down power lines, and how the electricity was cut off to the entire building. I explained that I had a Dr's appt. for an u/s and that I couldn't miss it. He said good luck and let me through, lol.

Well I got upstairs to the office, which was pitch black, but we went into the b/w room where there was natural light. I was told to come back tomorrow for the u/s.

My beta was 96,512 today at 40 dpiui, and the p4 was 21.5 nurse R said that both were normal and what they expected. Yay for good news.

More bean pictures to come tomorrow :o) God willing.

P.S.- You may have noticed I changed my ticker back to the original edd. I decided to go back to the 1st one, since it goes by my O date. Not to mention that babies aren't born exactly on their EDD.

I lost my job

2009-07-05T09:05:00.001-07:00

I got let go from my job last week. It really sucks. I am in a mad rush to find a new job before I start to show, because no one is going to want to hire a pregnant lady.

This economy sucks.

Baby News: I go for another u/s tomorrow morning and I'll get to see the bean again :o). Mr H. cant come with me tomorrow and I'm not too happy about that but I'll deal.

Please send some great u/s vibes and new job vibes my way. I can really use them.

2nd U/S today

2009-06-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

It was an awesome appointment today! We didn't have Dr A, we had Dr S. today. I really like Dr S. he is so very nice and quite honestly has way better bed side manner than Dr A. but whatever, lol.

We got to SEE and HEAR the heart beat today. It was just amazing to see that little flicker going so fast. The bean is measuring 6w1d, a few days behind where I thought I was, but Dr S said everything looked great. The beans heart rate is 133 bpm, and it was just so awesome to

hear it. I was so giddy I was laughing and I had to stop so I could hear the hb again.

So I am going to change my ticker to 6w1d and if it changes again I will just leave it alone, because I'm not going to change it from week to week, lol.

Here are some pictures :o)

This one is of the bean and the heart beat.

This one is of the lil' bean.

As always all prayers and vibes are greatly appreciated and always welcome, so if you have any to spare please send them my way. They are working!

A few pictures from vacation

2009-06-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

Hi all, today is our last full day of vacation so I though I would post just a few pictures. These are from our night out at mini golf. I didn't win, I tied for 3rd lol, darn 16th hole!

Me being goofy as usual.

Mr. H and I

There will be more to come but these are the two that I put up on my computer so far. I am waiting for Mr. H to up load the rest to iPhoto.

I am getting pretty anxious about Mondays u/s. I'm nervous that God forbid we don't see a heart beat, or that everything isn't progressing as it should. I know that I can't worry, but of course I still do.

6 Weeks!

2009-06-24T15:06:00.000-07:00

Wowzers! I can't believe I'm at 6 weeks already, for me this is a milestone because I have never been THIS pregnant. We are on vacation in the beautiful Outer Banks of NC right now and I want to move down here.

Everything is going pretty good with me, I feel a bit nauseous in the afternoons, but nothing too crazy. Tonight was the first time I had to leave the dinner table to throw up. It was just a little bit, but the nausea is still sticking around. A few Tums seem to be making me feel better though.

This is my first run down so bear with me.

How far along? 6 weeks 1 day (according to pregnology.com, lol)
Total weight gain/loss: Nothing that I know of
Maternity clothes? I have a pair of shorts with a stretchy waist, so I guess that counts.
Stretch marks? Nope
Sleep: I'm usually up once a night to go to the bathroom.
Best moment this week: The whole week is great, were on vacation!
Movement: Way too early
Food cravings: Nothing really
Gender: Way too early, but Mr. H and I are thinking boy.
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: nothing
What I am looking forward to: My Dr apt on Monday to see the heart beat.
Milestones: Nothing really.

Order Up:

2009-06-20T05:26:00.001-07:00

One very tiny bean coming up!

Can you see it? The tiny black blob? It's so very tiny, but that is our ity bity bean. We saw the gestational sac. Dr A. said that this was normal because it's so early, I'm either 5w2d or 5w3d. We will be on vacation this week, so we will be going back the Monday we get back, to hopefully see the yolk sac and the flutter of the heart beat! I will be just about 7 weeks when we get back.

Please send vibes and prayers.

I will update with vacation pictures and hopefully a bigger bean on Monday.

The letter of the day: B

2009-06-18T03:51:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone toady's letter of the day is B.

B is for Bloated, as in I have a muffin top in all of my regular pants. If I push it out just a little more it could possibly look like a Bump, lol. We all know the truth though, B is only for Bloat...not Bump (yet). Although I an a nut and have been sticking my belly out to see what I might look like with a bump, and I think it will be pretty cute one day, lol. I hope I get one in a few weeks so I can start showing it off, instead of hiding it.

B is also for Blessed, as in I can't believe I'm still pregnant and I'm so excited to hopefully see our little bean tomorrow. I know it's going to be to early to see a heart beat, even though I would LOVE to see one. I guess we will have to wait until we get back from vacation. I hope they let us come in the Monday we get back instead of having to wait until that Friday.

Sorry I've been a little bit of a slacker lately with updating. I just don't have that much to tell yet. Hopefully I will figure out how to put the pictures up tomorrow night.

P.S.- How many do you think I have in there? One or two? I'm heavily leaning towards one, but I know that I'm also in the range for two. First beta was 141 at 14dpiui, second beta was 332 at 16dpiui. What do you think?

Tomorrow is 5 weeks.

2009-06-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

I have made it to 4w6d today. Keep up the good work bean, we are so proud of you!

Nothing really to report. I've been a bit more tired than usual, and I wish I didn't work so that I could take a nap in the middle of the day, but oh well. I'm still not feeling to much else, those weird low dull cramps are happening on and off, and with every single one I get nervous. I know that they are "normal" but they will never be accepted as normal in my head. The girls have been a little sore, and I swear they have already gotten fuller. Is this even possible? Probably not, and I'm probably just imagining it, but I swear I can see a difference.

We go for our first u/s on Friday, and according to pregnology.com I will be 5w3d. I calculated it by my 1st iui date as my O date. I am really hoping to see a perfect little black blob or two in there. I really doubt that I have two in there but you never know, God has many surprises! Right now we are praying for one perfect little baby, anything more would be an amazing blessing. I don't think we will be able to see a heart beat that early, and that kinda bums me out, because I would love to see it before we go on vacation for a week on Sunday.

I'm wondering when they will ask me to come back in for a 2nd u/s to make sure we have a heart beat. Maybe 6 or 7 weeks? I really hope we don't have to wait longer than that, I think I would start to climb the walls.

Sometimes I wonder how "normal" women sometimes don't even go to their first appointments until 8 or 9 weeks. My sister didn't go in until she was 8.5 weeks, and then waited another few weeks for her u/s. Another girl I know just turned 13 weeks and had her 1st u/s and only had one set of blood work done at the beginning. I'm kinda thankful that I will be treated with "kid gloves" for the first few weeks.

Mr. H is still VERY nervous. He has said many times that he won't feel 100% comfortable until he can actually see a baby in there. I asked him what he meant and I think he means when I start to show. I told him that it could take months for me to get a bump. He is just really nervous, but as the days go by I am really hoping he gets a little more confident.

I can't go on the Internet anymore at work...SUCKS...so I will be updating from home. I hope my thoughts don't seem all jumbled, and if they do I apologize.

2nd betas in

2009-06-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

1st beta at 14dpiui= 141

2nd beta at 16dpiui= 332

That's right folks, we have doubling betas!!! We go for the first u/s next Friday the 19th!

When R. called it went something like this:

R: Hi Hon how are you?

G: Nervous

R: Why are you nervous, you have nothing to be nervous about.

G: Silence

R: Your numbers are great, your progesterone is wonderful and your beta is 332!

G: Thank you, thank you, thank you

R: Come in next Friday with the hubby for your first u/s

G: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So folks, please continue to pray for us and send positive vies and prayers. I can't thank you enough for all of the wonderful positive thoughts everyone has sent over. You guys really are the best!

xoxo

Waiting for the call

2009-06-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here at my desk willing my cell phone to ring with amazing news. I know that I'm going to have to wait until the afternoon again. The office was a nut house this morning and a very upset woman and her husband were rushed into the back for an emergency. I'm praying that everything is ok for them.

I'm much less nervous than Wednesday, I didn't even POAS this morning. Shocker, I know. I kinda think that I have no physical control of what is going to happen. If it's God's will to bless us then we will be blessed. If it's not I will be devastated, but I have gotten through it twice before, if God Forbid it happens again I will eventually pick myself back up and put myself back together again.

I'm not really feeling much of anything. I don't think I'm supposed to feel anything yet, but it would be nice to know that something...anything is going on in there. The only thing that is different is that I have been very tired. It's starts in the late afternoon and by 8:00- 8:30pm I am fast asleep. I have been waking up once a night to go to the bathroom, and I have a very hard time getting back to sleep. That's it though, nothing else. Please don't think I'm complaining, I'm really not. I'm just so very nervous I would really like to feel something, lol.

Wouldn't it be nice not to have to wait for blood work and u/s and testing. That once you found out you were pregnant it was a sure thing, and you KNEW you would take a baby home. Ahh, in a perfect world.

I will update as soon as I get the call.

Beta is in

2009-06-10T13:17:00.000-07:00

My 1st beta at 14dpiui is a solid 141!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EEeekkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

This is the HIGHEST beta I have ever gotten ever! I'm so so so grateful to God and wonderful Mr. H, and my family and friends (bloggies friends of course included!).

Please continue to pray and send positive vibes for doubling betas on Friday!!!

Beta Day- no I dont have numbers yet lol

2009-06-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Last night I fell asleep at about 8:30, I woke up around 2:00am like I have for the last 3 nights. I was a little hungry and thirsty and had to pee. I tossed and turned for about an hour and a half and finally decided to get up. I went to the bathroom, pee'd on an FRER and a cheapie. Drank a glass of water and went back to bed, tossed for another half hour or so and finally fell asleep. I got woken up at 5:30am by the alarm to get out of bed to go into the shower and get ready for Dr. A.

I looked at the two tests, the cheapie was still light, but the FRER was nice and dark. No mistaking it, there was a definate line there. It wasn't as dark as the control line but it was pretty freaking good for me, lol. (I'll try and remember to post pictures later) Mr. H asked if it was still positive, and I showed him that yes it was still positive. You see...Mr. H is a glass half empty kinda guy. He is so scared that this is gonna be another chemical or a m/c that he won't let himself actually wrap his head around the thought that this might be it. I have to say I'm struggling with it also, and I'm so scared that this will be taken away from us again.

I told Mr. H to stop being negative, because today I am pregnant and today I can be excited. I'm not sure if I can wrap my head around that thought either. I really think he is frightened of having to put me back together again. If this doesn't work out. If it's another FAIL in the baby making department. I'm really trying to stay positive about everything. Positive thoughts deliver positive outcomes. I repeat this all the time to my self and to pretty much anyone who is being negative, lol. Mr. H thinks it's annoying, but I don't care, it's my mantra.

So I'm sitting here, not patiently at all, waiting for my phone to ring. I'm praying every second that the beta is high and the P4 is nice and strong. That there is at least ONE little bean in there, anything more than that will be an amazing blessing. I'm trying so very hard to not let any negative thoughts slip into my brain. It is SO hard though.

AHHH........... This day is going to take forever! I'll post the numbers as soon as I get them. Please keep sending positive vibes and prayers that everything is nice and HIGH!

It's Tuesday...

2009-06-09T03:53:00.001-07:00

As in the day before Wednesday...

As in the day of the beta...

And I got this...

13dpiui! Please God please let this be our sticky baby(s).

I am really wishing that the cheapie line was darker, but I suppose a line is a line.

Please pray for us, with everything you have that this is really our chance to become parents. I appreciate every single prayer and I want you to know that I pray for all of you.

Pray for a super high beta tomorrow.

xoxo

Gina

7.dp.iui #1

2009-06-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well nothing is happening. I am boring, and I feel nothing. I wish I felt something, anything at all that would let me know something...anything is happening in there. I think the 2ww is some cruel joke the man upstairs decided to play. Maybe his thinking was...I will make all women wait for TWO WHOLE WEEKS to see if they are pregnant or not. For the women who don't want to be pregnant, they pray every night, and swear they will never do that again, and make promises that they will be a better more careful person in the future. For the women who DO want to be pregnant, we pray every night that something magical is happening in there, we analyze every little twinge and cramp, that it may be a good sign.

The 2ww for me usually goes something like this in my head:
- The first few days I'm o.k., trying not to think about anything, happy as a bug.
- Around day 6-7 of the wait I start to get antsy (as you can tell).
- Around day 10 I start to feel like things are either going to absolutely work, or absolutely not going to work...
- Around day 12 I usually start testing...and usually get very depressed that I'm getting bfn's
-Beta day...I usually have that last little glimmer of hope that all those hpt's were wrong and that I really am pregnant. That afternoon I get the call, that evening I have a good cry.
- Following day I wait for AF and try to get on board for a new cycle, or deal with another break cycle.

You see it's been so long I know my patterns. It's kinda a sad thing that I can pretty much map out my roller coaster of emotions in a month to month span. This month I have really been trying my hardest NOT to focus on the 2ww. I have been filling my nights and weekends with other things, and getting out of the house more. Yet all these thoughts still creep into my head. I wish I could take a vacation from my thoughts for the next 7 days.

P.S.- Check out my weight loss ticker-------> I'm down almost 5 lbs! Whoo Hoo Go ME!

I've been tagged!- 8 x 8 all about me!

2009-06-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

THE RULES:

Mentioned who tagged you: Stefanie over at "Through the eyes of a Stranger"
Complete the list of 8’s
Tag 8 people

8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

My vacation at the end of the month
This weekend, we are having dinner with friends :o)
To start fixing little things around the house again
June 10th- I'm praying that it's the day I get my BFP
My half birthday, June 28th (Real birthday December 28th)
Spending the summer relaxing on the weekends
Losing another 5 lbs!
Going for walks on warm summer nights

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY

Had lunch with good friends
Walked around Central park for hours
Watched some awesome roller skating
Made an yummy breakfast: eggs, bacon, Taylor ham, and toast!
Walked the dogs
Did laundry
Ate a really great grilled vegetable dish with grilled chicken
Watched a bit of television before going to bed

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO

I wish I could get pregnant, and carry to term, and take home a healthy baby(s)
Do crafts for a living
Buy a new home with lots of land
Have time off whenever it’s needed
Make sure my husband gets the job of his dreams
Make sure that my family never "wants" for anything
That I had a photographic memory
I wish we didn't have to work SO HARD for things that come so easily to other people.

8 SHOWS I WATCH

Law and Order- SVU and Regular one
House
Grays anatomy
The Real Housewives of NJ
The Hills
Ugly Betty
True Blood
Anything on the discovery or history channel

8 FAVORITE FRUITS

Apricots
Strawberries
Apples
Watermelon
Peaches
Melon
Grapes
Kiwi

8 PLACES I’D LIKE TO TRAVEL

Italy
Fiji
France
Switzerland
Egypt
Brazil
Australia
Bangkok

8 PLACES I’VE LIVED

All in New Jersey, I'm pretty boring, lol

Wayne
West Milford

8 FOLKS I’M TAGGING

I'm not really into tagging, but if anyone would like to do it, please link back to me, I would live to read your answers!

Wonderful Sunday afternoon

2009-06-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty nice. We got to relax on Saturday and it was pretty nice. We spend most of the day at Mr. H's parents house (they were away for the weekend) and we spend the whole day outside on the deck with the pups running around. We went to dinner, and then headed home.

Yesterday we went into NYC to spend the day with some friends we haven't seen since the wedding almost 2 years ago! Shame on us, but I think "life" got in the way for all of us. Yesterday we made up for it by having a great day! We started by having lunch at a really yummy Mexican place, and sat outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. After lunch we walked up to the park and walked all around for hours. Our friend R has lived in NYC for almost 10 years so he was showing us all around the city and the park. After the park we walked back to their apartments (only a block off the park, sooo nice!) we each grabbed a cupcake from the bakery Crumbs, and R made us cappuccinos. I had the Oreo cupcake and it was de-licious, Mr. H had the Reese's pieces cupcake, his favorite! We had a fantastic day and I'm so happy we got to do nothing but relax with good friends!

As for baby stuff: TMI WARNING::: I had some cramping on Saturday (5dpiui#1/4dpiui#2) and I had a tiny dot of dark brown, and then some very light brown cm and then it went away. Last night my one nip on the right side hurt, very odd but whatever. That's all that is going on. OH...the beta has been moved to the 10th. I don't know why I was given the 6th, but it was a booboo, and it's really the 10th. That means 9 more days until we find out if this worked.

WOW its been a busy week...

2009-05-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry I haven't been posting, I've had a very crazy week. I'll give you the run down of everything that has happened since last week.

Last Friday: Well last Friday was a very interesting day. One of my 2 salesmen that I project coordinate for was let go. It was a pretty big shock, and no one had any clue. I have no clue why, and I probably never will. I was freaking out all day long that I was going to be gone next. After my horrendous day at work, Mr. H and I went out with our very good friends J & I. We went to this really great restaurant/ bar and watched a really fun, kick ass 80's cover band. We had a great time and I was happy to be jumping around and dancing to some of my favorite old school tunes! ....Walk like and Egyptian...

Saturday: We had a wedding to go to, it was a lot of fun. Mr. H's friend from work got married and it was a Spanish wedding. The music was great, the bride looked amazing and all of the flower girls and ring bearers were just too cute for words! I had a few glasses of wine...maybe a few too many, but had an amazing time! Congrats R & J :o) I also went in for a follie check, everything was cooking right on schedule!

Sunday: We threw a BBQ. It started out great, until we got rained on for almost 2 hours. Once the skies cleared it was beautiful again, sun shining and all. A bunch of our friends came, and we had a really great time seeing everyone. It was pretty low key, but just the way I like it, lol.

Monday: O.K. so Monday was going to be our day of rest, but it didn't really turn out that way. I ended up having to go for b/w & u/s and I had 1 follie at 19 and 2 at 16, whoo hoo!!! I was told to trigger that night at 9:00pm for IUI # 1 in the morning. Excellent! After we got home from the RE, we relaxed and I took a nap for a few hours. Then my SIL called Mr. H and asked if we wanted to come over for a BBQ (this is where it gets interesting). So Mr. H wakes me up and we decide to go over to hang with the family at the BBQ. As SOON as I walk in the door SIL takes me up stairs and tells me she has something to tell me. I knew what was coming, even though I didn't want to realize it at the time. She sits me down in the bedroom and tells me she is pregnant. I of course am extremely happy for them, from the bottom of my heart i'm so happy for them. I screamed and gave her a big giant hug. You see, my sil is kinda an infertile. She has always had issues in that department, and when her and her husband were ready to have their first they didn't have to wait the 1 year to go to the RE, they got a free pass...straight to the RE. She had 1 IUI and got pregnant with my adorable niece. You see this is why I say she is an "almost" infertile, and now with this surprise pregnancy I think she has fully crossed into the world of the fertiles. Anyways... she decided to tell everyone right away (not something I would do, but whatever), I guess I'm just super jaded by all the issues we are having. After a few hours, and everyone talking all about the new baby, it started to hit me. Now I have a pregnant sister due in November, and a pregnant SIL. Where is my baby? Why can't Mr. H and I jump on the pregnancy train? I'm pretty sure I have put my time in, gotten my fair share of shots in the belly, dates with the dil.do cam, and of course all the super fun meetings with the phlebotomist, not to mention the TWO YEARS we have been waiting... Needless to say I started getting pretty depressed, and started to get quiet. Then my MIL said in front of everyone, "Awe poor Gina". I immediately said "please don't do that", and quickly changed the subject. After that it was time to go home. I don't mind sharing with my immediate family and friends, but I do not like to be called out. If I choose to share, that is my decision, and I get VERY upset and defensive when other people bring up my issues. After that I decided it was time to leave, and we did.

Tuesday: IUI # 1 day! We both woke up super early because I had to drop off Mr. H's boys at 6:30am to the RE to get all washed and super charged for the IUI. Well all went well at the house, no issues. The boys were in the special sterilized cup, and then in the zip lock baggie, and then in a blue bag so no one knows what I'm carrying. I got out of the house on time, got to the RE on time, everything was going nice and smooth. I walk into the RE, and there are no seats. O.K. this sucks, but no biggie, then a very nice guy got up and let me sit down. So sweet, my day was still going great. I got called to the lab to drop the boys off, and this is where the day goes from great to shitty in 2.5 seconds. I take the Ziploc out of the blue outer bag, and notice that there is liquid in the Ziploc. My heart sank immediately to my feet. The lid on the special cup wasn't screwed on tight enough, almost all of the boys escaped. I have no clue how I didn't break down right then and there in the lab, with the poor lab tech trying to figure out what he is going to do with this now. He was very nice and assured me that he was going to do everything in his power to save as much as possible. I was still freaking out. I walked out of the office and called Mr. H, asking if he was sure if the lid was on tight, he said he couldn't remember, blah blah blah. I walk to my car and start crying, I explain to him what happened, and I don't know if we can do the IUI because they don't know what they can save. I sit in my car for an hour and a half totally freaking out that I some how ruined my chanced of doing the IUI and the cycle was going to be ruined. I finally go back into the office, and wait for my name to be called. I got into the exam room and say R my nurse and asked about the sample. She said everything looked fine, and asked what was wrong. I told her and she said I wish I would have known I would have come out and told you all was ok, so I wasn't freaking out for so long. I thanked the lord in front of R, another nurse, and Dr. A, they all thought I was a nut. R said "keep those prayers going, we need the real thing to happen now", which is true of course, but I was just so happy that we got to do IUI # 1.

Wednesday: IUI #2. Everything went perfectly. We both checked the lid, like 5 times. I dropped the boys off to get washed and super charged, no leaks this time, thank God! They were running a little late so I had to wait a half hour past my appointment, but I didn't mind, lol. I got called in to the exam room, Mr. H had 30 million post wash! Good stuff Mr. H :o) Dr A. did his thing and I didn't feel anything at all, I actually said, "Jesus your finished already, I didn't feel anything", he laughed at me and said good luck.

Thursday: SIL got her 2nd beta back. The first was 7770, and the 2nd was 12,500. She started complaining about how she was feeling nausious, and that her eyes were dry... You see where i'm going with this??? I had to bite my tounge, and I as nicely as i possible could explained that I would feel shitty every single day for 9 months if it meant I could take home a healthy baby. She responded with "you won't be saying that when your pregnant", to which I responded with, "I hope I have the opportunity to eat my words". I had to change the subject before I hurt the pregnant lady's feelings.

Today: I am finally catching up with my blog. I have 33 un-read comments that I need to read and respond to. I have to catch up on all my e-mails, and make sure everything gets taken care of at work.

Tomorrow: I go for my P4 draw. Lets pray that everything is progressing nicely, and that I have 1 or 2 little fertilized eggs trying to makes their way down my tubes, and that they are getting ready to burrow nice and deep and make a home for the next 9 months!

I go for my beta next Saturday the 6th.

Welcome ICLW'ers!

2009-05-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hi all and welcome to my blog :o) This is my 2nd round of ICLW and I had a great experience the 1st time, I found so many new blogs that I really loved.

With out further adieu here's a little about me! I have to tell I'm not very good at these things, but I will try my best!

I am 28, and Mr. H is 27. We were married in September of 2007. We recently switched RE's and it so far is the best thing we could have possible done. New RE (Dr A.) discovered that I have hypothyroidism (TSH 4.4) and Mr. H has pretty low Morph (thank goodness they can swim straight and there are a ton of the little guys). I've been taking my thyroid medication religiously, in order to get it into a normal range.

We are currently on our 6th IUI, 2nd with Folli.stim. If this doesn't work we only have 2 more tries at the IUI's before we have to move onto IVF. This is a very, very scary thing. Not because of the insane amount of needles, or the hospital procedures, because of the money. Should be fun trying to find that money... This has been a pretty long journey, it will be 2 years in August. We have suffered through 2 m/c's, both were very early, but still hurt beyond belief.

This blog is named after # 1, our little baby manatee. Mr. H gave our bean that name when he saw a picture of what it looked like online (the weekly check in's). We never named bean # 2, because we pretty much knew it wasn't going to hang around (Sad but true).

We have two fur baby's and I love them more than anything. Minnie is our sweet, chubby, adorable little pug and she is 6-7 years old (she was adopted so we don't know her exact age). Chloe is out crazy, mushy, sweet boxer and she will be 3 in October.

I love plants, and to garden, but all of my plants live in pots, because we live in a townhouse. I want to take everything with me when we move one day, no one is gonna get my beautiful roses, lol.

I look forward to reading all of your blogs, and I hope you enjoy mine!

Happy ICLW, and best of luck to everyone :o)

Follie check and blood work day

2009-05-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

Everything went good at the appointment this morning. I was a little scared because there were a lot of ladies in the waiting room, and I was used to waiting around forever to go in (at the old RE). My fears were soon calmed because I was called in right away, and didn't have to wait anymore than 5 minutes for Dr A. to come in and do my u/s. I have on my right side, 10 follies less than 10, and on my left side 12 follies less than 10. Dr A. said everything looked great, and he is trying to be very careful with me because I am a really great responder. He only wants to see 2 mature follies by the time of the IUI's.

I got the call from the nurse that I will continue to do 50 iu's for the next two days and go back in on Friday for another follie and blood work check. I also asked Dr A about progesterone supplements, because I have read that many RE's put people on these right after the IUI's. Dr A. said he would be monitoring me closely and if I need them he will give me them, but he doesn't want me on any extra medicine (since I'm already on the thyroid medicine).

This is the first cycle in a LONG time where I'm not temping, or charting, or using the CBEFM. I didn't know what it was like to trust a doctor fully, and now I do.

On a different note: My wonderful, amazing, world traveling Mom is in Paris for 2 weeks. I talk to her everyday normally so it's been a little tough not being able to do that, but we still e-mail everyday. Two days ago my Mom went to Notre Dame, and said a special prayer for me, Mr. H and our future children. I feel so blessed to have my mom, and even more blessed that she got to say a prayer in a very special place. She has said prayers for me in lots of places now, last time she went to Italy she went into all the different churches and lit candles for me. She is awesome, and I love her tons!

Old Re= the Devil

2009-05-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I got a bill from my old (then current) RE, it was for $740.00 dollars. I immediately called them up and tried to find out 1. Why was I being billed, and 2. What I needed to do to get it resolved. This went on for a few weeks, and I THOUGHT I had everything worked out with them. Good, no new insane bills coming addressed to me from old RE.

Fast forward to last week...

I again receive a bill from old RE, this time in the amount of $904.76. Ex-squeeze me, baking powder (Wayne's World)? Mr. H calls me in a huff..."I thought you got this taken care of, what is this about?", Me "I have no clue I though it was taken care of also, I will call the insurance company again." So I call and after dealing with 2 idiots I finally speak to J. she is a manager there and is actually VERY helpful. She asks me to fax over the 9 pages of claims that need to be reviewed and she will go over everything.

Fast forward to today...

I call J. back because I haven't heard from her. I once again get a total idiot, who has NO CLUE what she is talking about and starts giving me totally wrong information. I tried to be nice, I really did, but the conversation ended like this, "I need to get off the phone with you right now because you are doing nothing by frustrating me, please have J. call me as soon as she is back from lunch". J. did indeed call me back, and apologized profusely that she didn't get my paperwork last week, and that there was another J. in the office and that's probably where it ended up. No problem, I get that, offices misplace things, as long as she has everything no worries.

J. starts to go through everything with me. Turns out that old RE is DOUBLE BILLING me for things that they are already getting paid for from the insurance company! They are just trying to make more money!!! It also turns out that old RE seemed to drop the ball BIG TIME in the getting authorization for procedures department. Can someone tell me how this happens? How is it possible to fuck up this bad? How do you go and double charge patients for things you are already getting paid for and then "forget" to get authorization for things?
How...I'll tell you how... One very small practice, with too many patients, with a receptionist/billing person who just leaves one day, and another billing person who is only in one day a week, and is now out on maternity leave...that's how.

THANK YOU LORD THAT I HAVE A GREAT FRIEND L. WHO TOLD ME ABOUT NEW RE.

I will be one super happy girl when this is worked out and I NEVER have to deal with old sucky RE ever again!

Anyone Garden?

2009-05-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

I have always loved house plants, even when I was little. I was the one who was "in charge" of keeping my moms plants alive. When I moved out of my parents house and in with Mr. H we got a ponytail palm.
It started out pretty tiny, like this size and now5 years later it's in a giant terracotta pot. I have LOTS of house plants, they drive Mr. H crazy because they are everywhere. In the winter they all live in the dining room because it gets the most sun. This also makes him nuts because we can't eat in there.

But I digress...

This year I have expanded my green thumb a little bit, and I'm dabbling in roses. Granted they are still in pots, even though they are giant. I live in a town house, and one day when I move I don't want to have to leave them there, so they are in big out door planters. I took pictures of them this morning, but of course I don't have the correct cable here at work so I will show you what they look like from google images.

This one is called pink Petal pusher rose. It's a tiny little bloom, but wowzers does it look pretty. It blooms all season long, and there are a TON of these tiny blooms.

This one is my red double knock out rose. It is amazing, it has double the amount of petals as the regular version and it makes the blooms look giant! This one is also a repeat bloomer, so I will have beautiful blooms all season long.

This one is called Cinnamon Twist, it hasn't bloomed yet, but when it does it's gonna be really pretty. This one only blooms once a season, but it will have the biggest blooms of all of them.
As for the IF stuff I'm feeling a little better today, but I will always have the stupid "what if's", I will try not to think about them so much. It's like a roller coaster at the top ready to drop, once it starts happening, it's pretty hard to stop the thoughts.

As for the Shred, it's on hold. I'm just to scared to mess something up with the high intensity workouts. I woke up late again today so I didn't get my morning walk in, I will walk extra long with the pups tonight.

Irrational Fears

2009-05-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

I started my folli.stim last night. Shots are kinda like riding a bike...you never forget how to do it. The shot went fine, easy as pie. Dr A. has me on 50 iu's since I produced to many follies last cycle when I was on 75 iu's. He plans on stimming me slow, and steady, I'm good with that, we want to have the best chance possible and that means quality not quantity.

I am crazy, and I understand this so please hold all laughter till the end.

I looked up what my EDD would be if I got pregnant this cycle...IF I get pregnant this cycle my EDD will be February 18, 2010. Yay for a Valentines Day baby(s)!

O.K. now for the really crazy irrational thoughts...

We are going on vacation to the Outer Banks, NC June 20th. This would make me 5 weeks at the time of vacation. What if I'm pregnant and something bad happens when I'm down there? What would I do, I'm so scared and I JUST STARTED MY STIMS.

I.am.a.nut.job.

I haven't even had my IUI's done, I haven't gotten a BFP to even worry about, yet I am. Why do I have these crazy thoughts? I don't want to have them, I want to be a normal, naive person who feels totally comfortable telling everyone as soon as I find out, because I know everything will be o.k. That's what happens when you get pregnant, you have a baby after 9 months.

At least that's how it should be.

I know better. I know that getting those two lines DON'T mean that I get to take a baby home. All I've ever known is that I get them and they go away, baby not included.

IF sucks ass, and I'm sorry this isn't a happy post today. Maybe I'm freaking out because I know I will get my BFP this month? Who the hell knows...

CD 1- it's been a long time

2009-05-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well hello CD 1, how are you...long time no see!

CD 1 and AF is really kicking my keester. I've been so tired the last two days, I get terribly drained the day before and 1st two days of my period. Boo to that, yay that she came so quickly after stopping the bcp's!

I called to report cd1 and I have to go in on Sunday morning for b/w & u/s. This is so strange to me since I never had to go in for weekend anything at the old place. Even though it's 40 minutes one way, I'm not really minding because I will finally get real cd3 results, not cd 2 or 4. Plus they have coffee, bagels, and muffins (or so I've been told), lol. Nothing like a free breakfast, hahaha.

I started my thyroid meds on Wednesday, and Nurse R. said that they take a few weeks to start working and get into the system, so I have to get my levels checked again in 3 weeks.

I'm not really sure how to feel about this cycle. I'm happy that we are starting fresh, with a great team, and I feel confident that they are doing everything correct. But I also know it takes a few weeks to get the thyroid stuff under control with the medicine. So I'm trying to keep a level head, although I can't help but feel a little bit ho hum about it. This will be IUI # 6, the 2nd with folli.stim, I can't help but think "why would this one work?". I just (right this very second) decided to make a list of the different positive things that would make this cycle different from the others.

1. New RE (& team)
2. B2B iui's (It's all they do)
3. Slower stimming= better quality eggs and a longer time for my lining to build up (starting at 50 iu's instead of 75)
4. Started thyroid medication (and hopefully it will kick in soon)
5. Weekend appt's. This means that the b/w & u/s will be done on the correct days, and I will have proper monitoring AND the iui's will be done on the BEST days for ME, not the other way around.

That's all I can come up with so far. I am so ready for this to happen, and maybe my dream will become reality. Maybe I will have de ja vu when I'm on vacation and I'll be able to say "it's OK I'm fat, I'm pregnant with twins". If not...I'm going to be a drunking lush on vacation... Good times :o)

Elevated thyroid levels...and low morph...

2009-05-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm pissed...

Consider this my warning...

Yesterday I got the call from R. our nurse, that Mr. H has low morph. Wonderful. We are lucky enough that his volume, and mobility are both high enough that we don't need to move directly onto IVF w/ ICSI, but this is where we are heading. R. said that since the other two counts are good we can still do the 3 IUI's w/ injectables like we planned.

Whew... dodged a bullet (at least for a little while longer)

Today I get another call from R. it seems that my thyroid levels are elevated.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Seems like I win the door prize...Hypothyroidism!

I have to start my meds tonight, and my levels will be checked again in 3 weeks. Your thyroid is so beyond important in the TTC world. It can absolutely prevent you from getting and staying pregnant.

Don't believe me...Check this out: Connecting Hypothyroidism and Infertility

Well here comes the rant...

HOW THE FUCK DID THE OLD RE MISS BOTH OF THESE IMPORTANT THINGS!!!!!!!

How, how, how did she NOT see that my levels were elevated. That it's bad enough that I need to be put on MEDICINE in order to correct it? How did she not see that Mr. H's men aren't the correct shape? HOW DID SHE MISS THESE THINGS!!!

I am so beyond pissed, I can barely get my words out.

I KNOW I should be happy that these things were finally, and don't get me wrong I AM happy that we are one step closer. I think I may finally have a dx besides unexplained (hypothyroidism & low morph?). I am happy that the hypothyroidism can be treated, and that my levels are only slightly elevated. I'm happy that Mr. H's boys can still swim straight, and that he has a lot of them, even though they are shaped funny.

One more thing to be happy about. I can stop the BCP's and we can start our cycle. I have to call with day 1 and come in on day 3.

Sorry for the angry post today. I'm feeling overwhelmed by all this new information, and the fact that we wasted so much time at an RE that apparently doesn't know her ass from her elbow.

Mother's Day Weekend

2009-05-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

First, I would like to wish all of the Mothers (Human baby's, Fur baby's, and those that have Angel baby's) that follow this blog a very happy belated Mother's Day. I hope you all had a wonderful day.

I had a nice weekend. We went to the Mets game on Saturday and brought our friends. We had a good time, besides the fact that my very good friend asked me if we ever thought about adopting. I was almost positive no one we know would ever ask us this, but I was wrong. I very nicely told her, the only reason I did not kick her is that I know she was truly concerned and not asking to be a jerk. I told her #1 adoption would mean that the child would not be genetically linked to Mr. H and I and we aren't ready for that step, and # 2 we do not have an extra 30,000 dollars and don't want to spend 1+ years trying to pursue it. She looked at me totally flabbergasted and had no clue that adoption #1 takes that long, and #2 costs that much money. The discussion was dropped after that and we went on to talking about other stuff, over our Bud. Light's.

Yesterday was nice, I went to my Aunt's house for an early brunch and then headed over to my mother in law's for lunch/ dinner. It was nice to see everyone, and the day was really nice. My mother and my aunt got me little presents even though I'm not a mommy so I didn't feel left out, and that was beyond nice of them. It really made me feel nice. Mr. H's older uncle wished me a happy mothers day, and then said oh you have no kids yet. I responded with I have two children, they just have fur on them. the people that were around us gave an uncomfortable laugh, but I didn't care, I stuck up for myself.

Another highlight to my day yesterday, I went to the neighbors house. N and J are in their late 40's, they have always had trouble conceiving until about 2 years ago! They have an adorable 1 1/2 year old and amazingly cute 6 month old twins. I went over there and I was holding the sweet twins, and playing with the oldest. My mil looked at me and told me I needed to have twins, that they just "fit" me. I told her that I was trying real hard, lol. I loved every second of holding those two, and I hope one day to be blessed with my own little peanut(s).

How was everyone's weekend?

30DS girls: I am on day 3, because I took off Saturday. I know I'm being a slacker already, but I will be doing it everyday this week, I swear! I'm getting used to working out everyday, and at least I'm doing it right? hahaha. P.S. I have not lost anything yet, and I know it's early but I was wishing for at least a pound!

Super Early start to my day!

2009-05-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

SA Drop off:
This morning I had to drop off Mr. H's SA. I was up at 4:45 this morning, and I was out of the house by 5:45. The appointment with the androgyny department was at 6:30 and we live about 40 minutes away. I was thinking that it would be fairly empty that early in the morning, but boy was I wrong. I have never seen a more well oiled machine! There were so many people in the waiting room, men and women, all waiting for their name to be called. I am so not used to that. At my old RE I would come in, drop off "the boys" and leave. Here I had to personally drop off the sample to the special department. I had to bring a photo I.D.- I guess in case someone jacked Mr. H's sperm from me on the way down the hallway, lol. Once I got in there I had to fill out paper work, initial about 15 different stickers with our information on them, and then put 2 of these stickers on the sample (one on the lid, one on the cup). This was way more organized that the old place, and it kinda makes me wonder how anything ever got done at the old RE's office, because they now seem SO scarily disorganized!

So...the next step. I wait to see when I can stop taking these bcp's. Once I get that call I wait for AF to show. Once AF shows I go in for CD 3 bw & u/s and start up my meds.

Triplets:
I had ANOTHER dream of triplets again last night! Seriously what is going on in my brain? Why do I keep dreaming about these three little boys? I just don't get it, I don't think about them, yet I dream about them usually once a week. This time the dream had my mom and dad in it. We were over their house with the 3 boys and we were just hanging out in the den watching TV. Nothing weird happened in the dream, just that we were there with the 3 baby's just hanging out. Seriously, I need some answers? Anyone know how to interpret dreams, lol?

30 Day Shred:
I did day one of the 30 day shred yesterday morning. All I can say is WOW! I was not expecting that it was going to be so hard. I did finish it, but I had a little trouble keeping up with their pace on a few different exercises (push-ups, and side lunges). I didn't do it this morning because I was out of the house by the time I would normally get up, but I will be doing it tonight when I get home. I am pretty sore today, my shoulders and arms and back, and butt hurt, but it's not horrendous. I didn't get a chance to measure myself yet, but I did weigh in today and gained one pound. I'm kinda bummed about it, but I did have a big lunch yesterday, so I was kinda expecting that it would go up. Hopefully once I get one full week of the shred in, I will see a difference on the scale and in the way my clothes fit.

How are my shred buddies doing? Any new updates?

30 Day Shread

2009-05-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever heard of this? I found out about it from someone on thebump.com. A few of the lovely ladies on TTTC started the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels.

Well I decided to get order the DVD on Monday and it should arrive tomorrow! I decided since we are on a break anyway, why not*. Not to mention our vacation to the OBX at the end on June. I also started writing down what I eat again. Kinda following W.W but not 100%. I know I should really step up my game if I wanna drop 20 lbs, but I just started so i'm easing into it, lol. I will be setting up little "mini" goals for myself. Like when I get to 5 lbs I'm going to treat myself to a pedicure, maybe at 10 lbs a new outfit!

I also added a weight loss ticker to the side bar ------------->

I was thinking if anyone wanted to do the 30 day shred with me we can start a little group and maybe we can post pictures and out stats. I would of course make this a private blogger page, and only the invited would be able to view it. Let me know if anyone is interested :o)

I plan on taking some before pictures, and measurements, BUT I will not share any pictures until I'm done with the 30 days. Sorry to be a bummer, but I am just too embarrassed to show you what I look like in a bathing suit right now**. I will try and get my measurements up tomorrow, but in all reality I will probably be doing it this weekend.

I also wanted to apologize for not really having any IF stuff to talk about lately. In all honesty I have nothing going on in that world. Mr. H finally went to get his b/w done last Friday***, but he STILL has to make an apt to get the SA done. Since I can't do it for him, I have to wait until he gets his stuff together and goes. Me being a total control freak, is going absolutely crazy, but alas nothing I can do. I am, and will continue to be on BCP until he gets it done, and that really stinks. I have been spotting for a few days now, I am guessing because AF really wants to come and make an appearance, but can't. Not yet. She needs to wait until we can start our cycle.

*I really should have started this a month ago. In my defense I didn't know about it until now so I don't feel as bad, lol.
**I'm sure someone out there understands.
***He is a GIANT BABY and almost passed out. Who's the wimp now Mr.?

"The Busiest Day In Heaven"

2009-05-04T12:08:00.000-07:00

"The Busiest Day In Heaven"

It's the busiest day in Heaven
I'm planning a big surprise
To let you know I love you
And that no one ever dies

Even though your down below
And I am up above
I'm sending you my wishes
And all my angel love

It's really quite exciting
To plan this big event
For lots of gifts will come your way
And all are Heaven sent

First I'll take a bubble bath-
My splashes might cause some rain
But knowing all the fun I'm having
Will help to ease your pain

Next I'll get some pictures
In my halo and gown
So when you get to Heaven
You can show me all around

I have color crayons in Heaven
And I will draw some stars so bright
And place them in the sky today
For you to see tonight

Then Jesus will have story time
And I will sit upon his lap
He'll tell me all about you
Just before I nap

I'll awake full of energy
And play a game or two
Before I finish sending
All my love to you

After snack I'll write a song
For all the birds to sing
And know I've made you happy
With all the joy it brings

At night time I'll be tired
But I'll still hold you tight
My arms will wrap around you
And keep you through the night

And when you finally slumber
I will kneel and pray
Asking God to bless you
On this special Mothers Day

Love,
Your Little Angel

I copied this from one of the nesties (so1966). I though it was nice since Mother's Day is coming up.

Blip of a dream?

2009-05-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of these, a tiny blip of a dream? Kind of like a mini home movie?

Last night I had one of these. All I can remember is that we were on our up coming vacation to the OBX, and my sil and I were standing in the kitchen area and we were talking about something but I couldn't hear what either of us were saying. Then the sound turned on, I looked down at my belly bloat, and said it's o.k. I'm fat... I AM pregnant with twins, remember???

That was it, nothing more.

Whats that all about? Now I'm dreaming about places I haven't been yet (we stay in different houses every year).

Maybe I'm a psychic, and when I am on vacation at the end of June I will have De Ja Vu. Wouldn't that be freaking awesome if it were true!

My pups

2009-04-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

Since I have nothing at all going on with me I thought I would introduce everyone to our pups.

Everyone meet Minnie:When Minnie first came to our home.
We adopted her!

Minnie staring off the side of the couch..."Should I jump down and get that toy?...
Nah... I'll just sit back down"

A very sleepy Minnie, after a long hard day of relaxing on the couch!

But sometimes she likes to take her sisters bones!

Everyone, this is Chloe

She was so very tiny....a long, long time ago, lol... (About 2 months old)

Here she is...Getting a little bigger! (About 5 months old)

And here she is at the park, ready to go down the slide. (About a year)

And here she is trying to make the escape from Grandmas back yard to see what everyone was doing in the driveway.

A very sleep girl at the end on a long, had day of playing.

Things I love...

2009-04-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

1. I love Mr. H even though he drives me up the wall some times...
2. I love OLD pictures. They bring back such wonderful memories that sometimes are totally forgotten in the back of my head.
3. I love my dogs. They can also drive me nuts some times, but there happy little faces always make me melt.
4. I love the warm weather, and if I ever had the chance to move somewhere warm all year I would. (Think San Diego...Hawaii...)
5. I love my family. They are a wonderful support system and I am so happy to have each and every one of them. (Even the crazy ones, lol)
6. I love my friends, and I'm talking about my real friends, not just people I hang out with sometimes. Friends that I can complain to and they "get it" even though they have NO clue what I'm talking about.
7. I love all my blogger friends. You ladies have been there for me when no one else was. You are truly the only people who really understand the joys, pain, and everything in between on this journey.
8. I love gardening.
9. I love the first really warm day after NJ's long, hard winters.
10. I love all animals, for the exception of birds (I just like them- they creep me out a little, lol.)
11. I love being back in school, even though it totally stresses me out.
12. I love the little smiles random children give me when waiting on lines, sitting in the park, or grocery shopping. Their smiles warm my heart.
13. I love the OBX (and would also love to move here).
14. I love when I have a really great appt. with the RE. I feel so hopeful that this could work someday.
15. I LOVE hearing when one of my fellow infertile's FINALLY gets their BFP :D
16. I love my new croc's (super ugly, but the awesomeness totally makes up for it)
17. I love being silly.
18. I love reading.
19. I love learning new things. Doesn't matter what, new knowledge is always pretty cool!
20. I love making new friends. One day I hope I get to meet all of them!
21. I love when I have a really great hair day.
22. I love the smell of my husband. It makes me feel safe and warm.
23. I love when my Mom sends cute little emails, just to say hello.
24. I love the feeling of coming home after a hard day.
25. I love that tomorrow is always a new beginning.

What are some things you love?

HSG results

2009-04-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

First I want to say I'm sorry for slacking on the blog, I usually post every day, and this last week has been super crazy. I promise to be a better blogger, lol. Oh and a Big Giant YAY for all my new blogger friends, welcome!

As for the HSG on Friday, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't painless either. I was super happy that I got an appointment ASAP since they were going to make me wait until next month if I couldn't make it in that day.

I had a super sweet nurse and ultra sound tech. The ultra sound tech. (Amy) was telling me how her and her husband have been married for 8 years and how they are just starting to try now. She told me all about her crazy cat, and her parents. She was a really sweet person, and she made me feel like I wasn't there alone, like a friend kinda. I'm grateful she was there with me, and not someone who just stared at me and didn't talk. The Dr. was also nice, well nice for a Dr. who just ran in did the HSG and ran out, lol.

As for the actual procedure, not to bad. After the Doc got the catheter in there and blew up the little balloon thing I thought that was the worst of it. Not so much, when they first started with the dye it was o.k., but then after a few minutes it started to get pretty uncomfortable. Like really bad cramps, but only for a few minutes.

The HSG showed that my right tube was totally cleared, and the dye flowed through no problems, the left tube was a little "Slow"* but the dye eventually went through. This in my mind explains why I "feel things" on my left side but rarely my right. Interesting...

I will be dropping off the CD with the images on them this afternoon to Dr. A, and then I need to get my blood work done. Mr. H is feeling pretty sick for the last few days, so I won't force him to get his SA or blood work done just yet. I kinda have a feeling that we may have to wait until after vacation in June (end of June) to start up, but I really have no clue. It's just a hunch.

Besides that I have nothing going on. Just going nuts studying for finals, and looking forward to no class for the next few months. This going back to school thing is hard!

*I kinda picture my poor left tube riding on the short yellow bus now because it didn't perform up to the standards of righty, lol

The NEW Re & telling my boss...

2009-04-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my appointment with the new RE, Dr. A, as many of you already know. I have to say it went well. The office was immaculate, not a spec of dirt anywhere, it was also not to cold feeling, much bigger than the last office, but it felt just right.

Dr. A was a very nice man, and I like him a lot. I think he is going to be the man to get me pg (funny thought). We were there for a total of 2.5 hours and went over our entire history, soup to nuts. We were talking about treatment options and at first he wanted us to move directly into IVF. I explained that we do not have coverage for IVF, but we do have IUI coverage. He said he would allow us to continue with 2-3 more IUI's, but then it will be time to move on since we had already done 5. It's a pretty hard pill to swallow, but if that's what it comes to to have a child that is what is going to be done.

We went over my cycles and 2 previous m/c's and he believes that I have had more than 2, just that I didn't catch them. He said I probably had more like 10-15 but they were so early that I never knew. He also said something that really put things into perspective. Dr. A asked how long Mr. H and I have been together and not using any form of birth control. I told him about 4 years, and Dr. A said well then you have been trying for 4 years, NOT 2. I was told that I should have gotten pregnant in that time frame and had a baby. Simple as that. Ya know I never thought of it like that, I just considered "trying" as TI, not just regular sex. That was also something that was a bit hard to hear, but the truth, and I'm happy he asked the question.

Dr. A did my exam and saw that I still have one 19mm cyst that hasn't gone down, so he put me on BCP's to shrink it. I have an HSG scheduled for THIS afternoon, and once I get those results I should be able to go off them, get AF and get a new cycle under way.

Dr. A was also NOT happy with how many follies I had last time. He said I had WAY too many, and that only a few of them were a good enough size AND that I was triggered too early. If I was his patient and that happened he said he would have upped my dose and we would have converted to IVF. I was also told that he is going to be VERY conservative with me because I had such a good reaction to the folli.stim. He is looking for 1-3 large size follies, not a million and one medium to small sized ones.

I also met with my nurse R, she is awesome. Super sweet and helpful, she explained everything to me 100%. She was also very impressed with me, and how I knew so much about everything lol. Mr. H said she looked like she wanted to hire me she was so impressed with my knowledge. Pretty funny stuff.

Mr. H has to get a ton of blood work that was never done and a repeat SA. I have to get some tests updated because they expired.

Now onto telling my boss...
I had to tell him today because he asked if everything was o.k. since I was off yesterday, and now I have to take a 1/2 day today. He seemed to be really concerned, not just nosy. So I told him, that Mr. H and I have been trying to start a family and we need to see a specialist and that I have to have testing done and it's time sensitive. He told me that he completely understood because him and his wife tried for 6 years before they had their first child and they also went to an RE. He said family always comes first and any time I needed is fine for me to take. Not to worry about the job, my health and family is most important. I was amazed that he was so understanding, and that he actually went through the same thing. Needless to say it's a HUGH weight off my back!

Today is a good day, and I'm praying that things start moving into a positive direction.

1 more day until the new RE

2009-04-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

Yay, I'm getting super excited!

I really hope we both fall in love with the new RE and office*. When we first went to the Old Re, we both liked her, but she was a bit harsh and cold. I had heard that she was just like that so I didn't think anything of it. As time went on, I noticed that she wasn't a very positive person. After every single IUI, and I'm talking seconds after, she would talk about the next cycle and what we would do. Her tag line was "Expect the worst, hope for the best". I know that is the reality of the situation, but I need positive and happy reinforcements.

I'm LOVING all the ICLW'ers that are visiting! This is so much fun and thank you to everyone who has already left a comment! I'm really hoping that some people decide to stick around and see what happens next!

*Office part is for me, I hope it's nice and clean, and the office staff are smart and caring.

Welcome ICLW'ers!

2009-04-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

This is my first official time doing this!!!

Welcome to everyone!

Here is a little about me.

I am 28-something and Mr. H is 27.

Married for almost 2 years (in September), and TTC for the same amount of time, actually we started the month before we got married. (Naughty, naughty I know, lol)

We are diagnosed as Unexplained as of now. We have had two very early m/c in the last 2 years, both on un-medicated cycles.

Our timeline is to the right :)

We have had a lot of testing- RPL, Genetic, plus all the normal stuff that the RE makes you do.

We are currently waiting for our appointment with the new RE (Thursday), and I'm super excited to meet my new Dr. I'm really happy that we are going to be working with a team of RE's not just one from now on. I'm happy that instead of one set of eyes on my ute and eggs and Mr. H's sperm (like we had for the last 8 months) now we will have many sets of eyes, and hopefully one of those many sets will find what our issue is, and correct it so we have start our family.

I look forward to hearing from all of you!

The forever cycle continues...Dun...dun...dun... and welcom ICLW'ers

2009-04-21T07:34:00.000-07:00

Welcome to all ICLW'ers!

A quick little update about my last post, all is back to normal on the home front. It actually was the very next day, so that's good news. I guess we just needed to get some stuff out, and it's unfortunate that it had to happen like that, but oh well, water under the bridge so to speak.

Anyways, onto the the story of the never ending cycle...for me at least*. I am on CD 21, day 6 of highs on the trusty old cbefm, and still no O. What gives? Could it be because of the 4 ginormous cysts I had? Could it be from the injectables I took for the first time last cycle? I'm sure this super cycle is a result of a little of this, a little of that, but geez Louise can we get on with it already. I am 4 days past the latest I've ever O'd (CD18). I'm starting to think these drugs are doing more damage than good.

I'm very excited to see the new RE on Thursday afternoon. Just 2 more days to go! I hope we both like him, because it would suck trying to find another excellent, large, office to go to. I think that the team approach is going to be more beneficial to me opposed to just one Re. I sure am hoping so!

Onto some other feelings that have recently come up.

Does it sound bad that I am enjoying my alone time with just the 4 of us (me, Mr. H, and the pups)? I know I should be enjoying the time, like that is what you are supposed to do, but I'm currently really enjoying it. It's nice to come home to a semi quiet house, and just relax with everyone on the couch. Not having to worry and rush home. I don't know why I all of a sudden feel this way. Don't get me wrong, I have ALWAYS enjoyed alone time with Mr. H, but recently I haven't been having those sad feelings, in the back of my head about how much I need to have a child right now. Does that make sense to anyone else, or are my ramblings super confusing...sorry if they are. It's like... I want a baby... but if I don't have one this very minute I kinda think it will be O.K. I see other people my age that would never in a million years want a baby right now, of course they aren't married and far from it, lol.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that right now I am content with the detour in the road we have taken.

*Disclaimer- I know people have WAY longer cycles than this one, so sorry if you think I'm a baby, lol.

Mr. H told me to "Just Relax"

2009-04-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Yup he said the dreaded words...

You see he decided he wanted to stay at his moms tonight because he has to go into the office tomorrow morning and is going out with the boys tonight. She lives much closer than we do to his job.

I said I would like him to come home tonight because I am on my 2nd day of highs on the trusty old cbefm.

The conversation went something like this...

Me: I wish you would come home tonight.

Mr H: We can do it tomorrow night.

Me: Yea but I thought we agreed that we were going to stick to the same game plan as the last break cycle that WORKED...

Mr. H: Well we can just do it tomorrow.

Me: (Turning more angry every second) whatever...

Mr H: You just need to relax and calm down...

Me: Click

Why doesn't he get it? After all this time, he still just doesn't get it. I have a Medical Condition that can not be fixed with "relaxation". That totally set me off the deep edge. He said that I am making it not "fun" for him anymore. Excuse me? Not fun? I'm sorry I forgot where I missed the sign up sheet for the "fun" baby making. I must have missed it and found the sign up for the "stick needles in your belly, and pump your body full of drugs" list. Yea because the ass crack of dawn appointments, and the vag cam, and the blood work, and the injections, and iui's, are a lot of F-in FUN!

I would love to know why we were chosen to have this strain put on our relationship so early into our marriage. What kind of sick test is this? I know that it will turn out o.k. eventually, but come on already. We are almost at the 2 year mark, and as it gets closer and closer I think I am get more and more determined to be pregnant by then. It's a terrible cycle, and I want to be done.

When will it by my turn?

Dad is doing better

2009-04-17T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hi all, I'm happy to report that my Dad is doing much better! He was up and walking around yesterday! He is able to eat food again, but it has to be pureed, which is gross, but a step in the right direction.

He should be getting out of the hospital tomorrow whoo hoo!

100th post

2009-04-15T07:30:00.000-07:00

I was trying to hold out for some amazingly awesome 100th post, but I just don't have anything that interesting going on. I didn't want to wait a whole other week to tell you about my new RE.

So here it goes, my boring 100th post.

First off, thank you for all of the prayers for my Dad. He is still in the hospital but got moved off the ICU floor. He is doing better, but very slowly, and he is still in a lot of pain. So please keep him in your prayers for a bit longer.

Secondly, I am apparently going to have a LONG cycle. Now I know some people have Super Long cycles, but I'm on CD 15 and there is no sign of ovulation any time soon. The longest I've ever taken to O was CD 18, but I was getting highs on my CBEFM by CD 15 (I'm still getting low readings as of today).

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or an annoying thing yet.

It could be good because that means I can get my testing done with the new RE, and not have to worry about another wasted cycle (Hopefully).

On the other hand it could be bad because A. I don't know if the cysts have gone down and if they are what is causing this long cycle, or B. Could the injectables I took last month screwed me up more than normal? I had one of the shortest LP I've ever had while on injectables, which is strange, because I thought they were supposed to lenghten your LP, and I also had one of the heaviest AF's I've ever had. Also strange.

I guess either way I will get some answers next Thursday. Hopefully I will O by then, lol. Who knows, the last break cycle we had I got pregnant. Although it didn't stick, it still happened.

I almost forgot. My bil who just returned from his 3rd tour, brought us back a funny little man with a very large member. After Mr. H and I got done laughing and making inappropriate jokes about him, we learned that he is a Turkish Fertility God. His name is Priapo I'm just warning you that this picture is not work appropriate, even though its a little statue, lol. So click at your own will, lol. Now we have the "Stalk" aka stained glass stork from my sil and Priapo from all the way around the world from my bil. Hopefully something will work for us.

Last but not least I have registered for next semester. Only one class, organic/inorganic chemistry. Then I can start the core classes for nursing! Good stuff on the school front :o)

Please pray for my Dad

2009-04-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

If you ladies can say a very special prayer for my Dad I would be forever grateful. My Dad has been sick for a while now, and last night he had to have emergency surgery. I don't want to post much more about it, but he is in the ICU and I don't know when he is going to get released onto a regular floor.

Thank you in advance, I really appreciate it.

Madeline Alice Spohr

2009-04-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

Madeline Alice Spohr

November 11th, 2007 ~ April 7th, 2009

A fellow blogger, Heather, of The Sphors Are Multiplying, unexpectedly lost their 17 month old daughter, Madeline. The outpouring of support has been amazing.

It's just further proof we're not just a bunch of bloggers or tweeters, we're a community.

Donations can be made to the March of Dimes or to her parents to help with the burial cost.

Please keep Heather, Mike, and their families in your prayers.

Your Engagement/ Wedding

2009-04-07T06:31:00.000-07:00

I got this from Katie over at Cold Hands, Warm Heart. I'm not all about tagging people, but if you want to fill it out, be my guest :o)

Cut and paste and put in your own answers. Let's see how much you remember about your engagement and wedding day!

1. Your spouse's name: Bryan Robert H

2. Where did you meet? We first met when I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th. Yes that's right I'm a cradle robber, lol. He was a new kid and some of my friends started hanging out with him after school (I went to private school, he went to public). After middle school we stopped hanging out until after high school. We met up again through a very good mutual friend of ours. We were just best friends for about 7 years before we started dating.

3. Who asked who out first? Umm I think we kinda just started hanging out. We rode our bikes all over the town, when we were younger. When we were older it was totally on me, lol

4. Where was your first date? Dinner and a movie

5. What was the date of your first date? Oh jeez I think July 2004

6. Did you "know" on that first date, or did it take a while to realize "this is the one"? Yea I kinda did. It was weird, but we were on vacation with friends and we both went down for an early breakfast. He was sitting there eating his breakfast and reading a newspaper. At that moment I knew that I would be seeing that same thing for the rest of my life, lol.

7. How long after the first date were you engaged? 1 yr 2 months

8. Care to share the proposal experience? We were on vacation in St. Thomas, and spent the day in the town. For fun we were going in all of the jewelry stores just trying on really expensive things, lol. We ate lunch and went into the last store before we had to head back. I told him if he was ever going to buy me a ring I wanted that (pointing to a specific ring) setting. He bought it right there on the spot! He said we can not get engaged until I graduate (it was about 6 months from then). So we went back to the hotel, got all showered for dinner. While I was in the shower he called my parents and asked for their blessing. Once we were all showered we went down to dinner, but before we went he wanted to get one "last" picture on the beach. I was giving him a hard time because we had a million and one pictures by the water but I said whatever. He gave the camera to another couple and then he did it. Right there in front of everyone, which was VERY out of character for him. He is usually very quiet and shy. I thought I had a picture at work, but I guess its at home. I'll post it later :o)

9. When was the engagement? August 25, 2005

10. How did you tell others? Called them all that night

11. Where and when was your wedding? September 15, 2007
Sorry for the blurry pic, I don't have the pro ones on my work computer.

12. Did you receive pre-marital counseling? Only the thing the church makes you do...Pre Cana

13. Maid of honor? My sister

14. Best man? Our great friend Jay

18. Colors of bridesmaid's dresses? Black strapless, with a white sash

19. Who gave the bride away? Both of my dads

20. Any special songs, music? True Companion, Marc Cohn

21. Vows... traditional, repeated, or said your own? Traditional repeated vows

22. Anything funny about that day? Bry was so nervous, when we got up the the alter and both sat down he whispered to me "I think I'm gonna puke", hahaha

23. Where was the honeymoon? Hawaii for 2 weeks, Kauai and Oahu

24. Where did you first live? In our house we had bought the year before

25. Any special marital advice? Do your best to show your partner you love them every single day, even if your upset about something.

My seedlings are planted :o)

2009-04-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

And no I do not mean fertilized eggs, lol

Every year I grow my flowers from seeds, this year I started them a bit early and they have grown pretty big and strong. This year I planted Zinnia's, Morning Glory's, and Pansy's. Yesterday it was beautiful outside in NJ, I decided to plant them all in their pots and let them grow big and strong in the sunshine. What I did not realize is that it may SNOW tomorrow. I found this out this morning, and that is not good for my little ones. This means I have to bring all my little babies inside tonight. Oh well no worries, I will bring them all inside and then take them out again when it's nice out again in a few days.I hope that it stays warm out before mothers day this year, but then again I can only hope. I knew that it was too early to plant them outside, but I just couldn't help it. It really, really nice out yesterday. Mr. H was taking a snooze, I was bored and decided to take advantage of the nice day.

As you can tell I don't have much to talk about in the TTC side of my life, so I will be talking about the other things I do. Amazing as it may sound, I don't only have IUI's and try to conceive a baby, hahaha. I will have more to talk about on this end once I speak with the new RE. I am super excited to meet with him, and I'm hoping that this is a good fit, so I don't have to find another group. I do have a good feeling though, so I'm feeling optimistic.

EZ Diet Plan

2009-04-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

This diet comes all the way from Anna in California.

This has been typed exactly as the sheet has it printed, if you have any questions please let me know and I will pass them on.

"EZ Diet"
Dietary Modification Plan

Diet:

Bad list:

- Sugar (Includes hidden sugars e.g. orange Juice)
- Breads/ baked goods and flour
- Potatoes
- Yogurt
- Beer
- White Wine
- Bananas

So-So list:
- Pasta
- Rice
(Serving size= tennis ball)

Good list:
- Everything else. You can eat any meats, fruits, vegetables, or nuts that aren't listed above. Dairy products are also good. There is no need to limit portion size.
- Red wine may also be consumed in moderation.

Phases:

Phase 1:
Restrictive
- Nothing from the Bad List, 1-2 servings/ week from the So-So List.
- As much as you want from the Good List.
- Use Phase 1 for 4 weeks. This should help with the cravings and give you impressive results.
- You may be hungry between meals for 1-2 weeks. Eat snacks from the Good List.

Phase 2:
Maintenance
- 2-3 servings/ week from Bad List
- 3-4 serving/ week from the So-So List
- As much as you want from the Good List

- Cheat day 1 time/ week

- Vacations. Enjoy yourself. You may need to return to the restrictive phase for a few weeks after your vacation.

More Info:

Dietary Modification and Exercise

The "EZ Diet" is a dietary modification plan that has been gaining momentum over the last few years. Many people are completely unaware that dietary modification can lead to weight loss and improved fertility. Weight loss has many other benefits including prevention of cardiac diseases, reducing the risk of diabetes, and improving a person's mood and energy levels. Dr. Zeringue has been working with infertility patients struggling to lose weight for many years. After gaining a detailed understanding of how the body regulates weight and other diseases, the diet modification plan has evolved into its current form. Nicknamed the "EZ diet", many people have very successfully lost weight and maintained this weight loss.

There is no magical formula for weight loss, but there is real science. By gaining a better understanding of what foods do to a person's body, Dr. Zeringue has found that most people are more committed to sticking to the diet. Doctors already know that most any diet plan will work if people stick to the diet. Most people want to lose weight or eat better, but finding reliable information can be difficult. Dr. Zeringue has performed community service lectures to help educate the public about a healthy diet plan and long term compliance. These seminars are free to the public and there are no products to purchase and no sales gimmicks.

The diet modification plan is simple to follow. The diet is summarized on a single sheet of paper which lists foods to be avoided, foods to be eaten in moderation, and foods which may be eaten regularly. There are two basic phases to the diet modification plan. The restrictive phase and maintenance phase differ by the foods a person will be allowed to eat. The diet is very easy to understand and there is no need to count calories, carbohydrates, or restrict food portions. The diet is not a true "low-carb" diet in that people are able to consume most fruits and vegetables which are considered to be bad carbohydrates by many popular diets.

Why have a seminar when you can post it on the web? As mentioned above, sticking to a diet plan can be the biggest hurdle. Dr. Zeringue prefers to educate people about the biology behind weight loss so that people understand why the diet can be so effective for healthier living. With a better understanding of the diet modification, people are more likely to make a life long change as opposed to a short term fad. Diseases such as diabetes and heart disease are long term problems. Short term dieting will generally not be enough to reduce our risk of developing these diseases.

Click here to learn more about polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS, insulin resistance, and hyperinsulinemia. Dr. Zeringue specializes in helping women with this disorder.

Exercise

Exercise leads to many health benefits including cardiovascular fitness, weight loss, and increased energy. Combining a healthy exercise program with a good dietary program can lead to improved fertility and a healthier life. Often people are discouraged from exercising due to a lack of positive results. Combining an exercise regimen with a good dietary plan will often change your body's chemistry and metabolism in your favor. There are many hormone pathways that regulate weight and diseases. By altering these hormones with diet and exercise, most people will get the results they desire. A healthy exercise program does not need to be excessive. Participating in 20-30 minutes of activities 3 times per week can be effective for many people. There are many types of exercise that may be effective.

Fast walking, biking, swimming, aerobics, and dancing are several common examples. Resistance exercises such as weights, elastic exercise bands, and calisthenics (push ups, sit ups, knee bends, etc) can also be very effective. You can choose to mix up your routine on a regular basis. Before long you will find yourself looking forward to exercising and it will no longer seem like a chore.

Who Should Use It?

The diet plan has often been called a " fertility diet " or the " infertility diet ", but this does not take into account the many different benefits from the diet plan. Hormone regulation and weight loss lead to improved fertility as one of the many benefits of the diet. Weight loss, improved cholesterol and lipids, and increased energy are also some of the potential benefits. Anyone interested in eating a healthy diet and potentially decreasing their risk of disease can benefit. The diet encourages eating a balanced selection of foods and can be used by almost anyone.

Results

Many patients have experience excellent results using diet and exercise modification. This treatment can be used alone or in combination with other fertility treatments. A fertility diet may not be the answer to everyone's problems, but it can certainly help improve the results. If you are someone with ovulation problems and PCOS, the results are often impressive. In many cases, additional fertility medications may not be required.

Mr. H has hope because of the "Stalk" lol

2009-04-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

He is so cute. This morning neither of us wanted to get out of bed, we were being lazy, because it's a yucky, rainy day here in NJ.

Once we finally got up and moving he was talking about how we could still get pregnant even though we are on a break. And how last time we were on a break we got pregnant, even though it didn't stick. And how we have the "Stalk"* now and it will bring us luck. It was so cute, and I'm happy that he is willing to keep trying like "normal" people even after all this time.

* The story of the "Stalk"- This is really the "Stork". When DH and I first started trying he was talking about how the "Stalk" was gonna come and visit us. I of course had no clue what he was talking about until I realized he was talking about a "Stork". He didn't know what the mythical baby delivering bird was called, but he wanted to sound cute so that's what he called it. Well "Stalk" stuck so now we have a stained glass "Stalk" that has been passed down from a few different people. Once they got it, they got pregnant.

It's cute to think that Mr. H thinks a stained glass stork will bring us our baby, but I'm not going to say anything to him. If it makes him feel better, I'm all for it. We have the stork hanging in our bedroom window, as directed by my SIL who passed it down to us. I'll take a picture of it and post it when I get a chance.

Break cycle confirmed

2009-04-02T11:55:00.001-07:00

Well I just got the call. Break cycle confirmed.

This is actually a good thing. I can make a clean break from them. Although I just paid for all my meds for this cycle. Good thing they are covered by insurance.

Thank you ladies & My next steps

2009-04-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all of your kind words yesterday. They truly made me feel better.

I am doing better today, so hopefully I will be back 100% by tomorrow :)

I went in for my CD 2 blood work and wouldn't you know it, I have cysts. Not just one or two, nope I have four little (or rather big) friends that just didn't want to leave me. I have two on each side and they are averaging 27.5 each.

Soooo they took my blood work and I'm waiting for the call. I am 99.9% sure that we will have to sit this cycle out, but I'm OK with that. You see, I have decided to go for a 2nd opinion with another RE. I did not like that I was not told how many follies I had last month. That did not sit right with me at all. I asked the nurse there this morning and she gave me a run down of how many I had...

Right side:
20
19
15
14
12
10

Left side:
19
16
15
10
10

WHAT THE F*$% How could I have not been told about all of those follies! I know that it doesn't matter now, but come on people, what if I had fertilized just the mature follies? Not to mention the medium ones that may have caught up?

This brings me to another issue I'm having. Something is wrong that not one of those follies fertilized. Yet we are not going for any more testing. I was also talking to a friend yesterday, and I told her I never had an HSG done. Dr. NOT so Fab said I didn't need one because she did a hystersonogram and everything "looked" all clear. But now that I come to think about it, how could she really see my lining, how can she be sure something isn't wrong and preventing implantation?

I guess I'm just unhappy, and sad about all of this.

So we will most likely be sitting this cycle out, and most likely be sitting out the next cycle because I'm sure the new RE will want to do his own testing. Which brings us to June, the month we are going away, so that potentially means we will have to sit out for the next 3 months. No RE no drugs, just good old fashion "Normal Fertile" baby making.

I am going to take this as a good thing, a friend of mine sent me some good info and a diet plan that she got from her RE (Thanks Anna). It looks easy enough, so I am going to give it my all. I also figure if we are going to be on a break for the next 3 months I have no excuse why I can't exercise to my full potential. Get back to, or start getting back to where I should be. Start getting rid of these extra 25 pounds that have been slowly creeping up on me. NOT GOOD!

And IF we are still on a break in June...I can have a few drinks on vacation, lol.

This is a sad post.

2009-04-01T05:30:00.001-07:00

My temp jump yesterday was a fluke.

AF is here.

Sorry to disappoint.

This was going to be a sad post...

2009-03-31T05:39:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up, temped, and went to the bathroom. Usual day pretty much.

I wiped and saw light brown spotting, and IMMEDIATELY thought the worst.

I looked at my bbt and thought, f-ing fantastic my temp went down again. I tested just to see a stark white line.

I walked out of the bathroom woke MR. H up and told him that this cycle was a bust, because I was spotting. I started crying, and he rolled over and I saw the saddest sight. He started crying, just a few very sad tears ran down his cheeks.

It was heartbreaking.

I came into work, typed an e-mail to my mom to let her know also, and as usual put my temp into FF.

The I then realized I am a MORON.

MY TEMP WENT UP!!! Not like a super giant jump, but back up above the coverline! It took me actually seeing the line go up on my chart for me to realize that my temp went up. Yesterday it dropped down to 97.24 and today it's 97.84!

So now I have to keep this secret from my poor heartbroken husband, and my poor heartbroken mother, because if this cycle truly is a bust I couldn't stand to break their hearts again.

So Please I am asking for your prayers again. I don't care who you pray to, it could be Joe Pesci for all I care, just please pray that this is it for us. Pray with me that the next time I make my husband cry it will be tears of joy when I can show him a wonderful BFP.

Heres my chart again in you wanna see.
MY CHART

Pretty sure I'm out :( CD 10

2009-03-30T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well after a giant temp spike yesterday morning, today my temp took the equivalent of jumping off the empire state building. My bb's are not as sore and I'm not really feeling much of anything.

I am 10 dpo and expecting af to show any second now. I am devastated to say the least. I was CONVINCED I was pregnant this cycle, I just KNEW it was our month. Now I'm trying to rack my brain to see where we are going to come up with $15,000 dollars for the potential IVF looming over our heads.

I don't know how I am going to get through the week. I don't know what we are going to do, and how we are going to get through this. I have a giant lump in my throat and I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any second.

I not only let myself down, I once again let my husband down, and my mother and father, all my friends, pretty much everyone you can think of.

Here is my chart if you want to look at it.

MY CHART

E.2 & P.4

2009-03-27T13:26:00.001-07:00

7 dpo/dpiui...
E.2= 10,711
P.4= Greater than 20, she didn't give me the exact number.

Anyone know what your e2 should be at this time? I know that the p4 number is good.

Trigger is out

2009-03-27T08:00:00.001-07:00

I have to say it was a little sad when I didn't see that 2nd line again this morning. Oh well what can you do, now I will know that when I see that 2nd line again it will be for real.

I went for my P4 & E2 draw this morning. "D" was in a pretty crappy mood as soon as she walked in, so I knew I was going to be in for a treat with the blood draw. She stuck me twice, didn't get anything either time and then told "I" to come in and get the blood from me, she got it right away.

I have been talking to my potential sea monkey's. I know that's pretty crazy to do, since I am getting attached to things that may not be there, but a girl cam wish right. I figure after my melt down the other day, I need all the positive thoughts I can get. So that is what I decided to do, talk to my belly and pretend there are two cozy sea monkey's making themselves nice and comfortable.

Another blogger (I forget who) was talking about how she visualized her embabies walking around and picking a nice home to live in. I am using the same visualization skills and I'm visualizing my little sea monkey's with little arms and legs and they are digging in nice and deep, so they will be here for the long haul. Kinda like they are skipping around in a playground and found a fun sand box to play in, and they wanna stay there for ever.

I fully understand I sound like a nut job, but it makes me feel better. Mr. H has also been talking to the sea monkey's, so at least I'm not along. We both want this so bad we can taste it. Like it is something that is just beyond our grasp and our bodies are both fully extended.

Last but certainly not least, I wanted to say thank you so much for all of your kind words. It really helped reading them and knowing that I'm not alone in this, and that my feelings are real.

You are all invaluable to me.

My sister is pregnant...

2009-03-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

Again.

Yes the same sister that just had her beautiful daughter, my beautiful niece, who is just 6 months old.

She told me over a text message. No call, nothing. I don't know why I am so hurt by this but it feels terribly insensitive. Maybe I'm just overly hormonal.

I just responded to her text that she sent over yesterday afternoon. It said "Wow. Congrats. That's wonderful news." I had no clue what I should say. I feel broken inside.

This is the same sister that was also pregnant when I was pregnant and had my first m/c. I feel numb. How is it possible that she is on number two and I cant even get one to stick? How is it possible that she can get pregnant by accident and I can't when I'm doing everything in my power?

I need strength now, I need strength to be a good sister, who is supportive, and to have the strength to keep believing that God has a plan for Mr. H and I.

Please God help me through this.

UPDATE:
I she wrote me back and I explained why I didn't respond right away. She said she understood. Her due date is November 1st. This means that she is 8 weeks, she waited a whole month to get checked out.

I bit my tongue, I guess I feel different being an infertile. That I would never in a million years wait a whole month to see if I'm pregnant. Something that my fertile sister will never understand I guess.

T minus 10 days

2009-03-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Pretty boring day here today. Last night I fell asleep at 7:30 and woke up once at 1:00am to go to the bathroom, and went right back to sleep. I'm thinking I must have had a pretty strong O because it's kicking the crap outta me. I have been having nice high temp rises for the last few days, so I know I def. O'd, which makes me feel better. Last month my temps didn't rise to 98.0 and this month we are already at 98.27 at 4dpo. My bb's are still sore, so I'm counting that also as a good sign, even though I know it doesn't mean anything, and it's probably from the trigger shot.

I have my P4 and E2 draw on Friday and it seems like it's taking forever just to get to the end of the week. I don't know why, but mid week appointments seem to get here so much faster than end of the week appointments. Hopefully the blood work shows a nice strong O and that my P4 and E2 numbers are nice and high. High enough to support pregnancy.

T minus 10 days until my beta...

Picture Tag :o)

2009-03-23T07:21:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by a fellow TTCAL nestie to do this fun Pic Tag. She must know how much I love photos... Thanks Crysbena

Here are the rules:
1. Find your sixth picture folder and in that folder, the sixth picture.
2. Post it on your blog with some of the background of the picture.
3. Tag four others and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.

These are all the pups after a play date. The pug (Minnie) and the boxer (Chloe) are ours, and the Shih Tzu (Snick) and the American Bulldog (Gus) are our friends.

They had a long day and now there waiting for their treats!

I tag anyone who wants to play!

Very High Risk for Multiples! Eek!

2009-03-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Excuse me what did you say? Yes you heard correctly, I at an extremely high risk for multiples.

O.K. I will rewind to Friday.

I go and drop off the boys at 8:00 am, and since I live so far away I just decide to wait there until my 10:30 am apt.

Fine no problem...or so I thought.

It turns out that they make the pregnant lady apts during those in between hours. I was wondering at first why so many couples were coming in together, and at first I didn't pay much attention. But then I heard it, the joyous laughter from behind the doors. I thought o.k. I can handle it, no biggie, I should be happy for them, who knows how long and hard their struggle has been.

I WAS O.K. UNTIL....

The proud father to be saw a friend randomly while walking out of the office (with the big glass door to the lobby, so I could see and hear everything). The friend asked why he was there, and then the proud poppa whipped out the u/s picture and showed it off like it was the most precious possession in the world. The friends hugged and shared congrats.

I started to tear up, I nearly lost it right then and there.

Then I heard the mom to be, still in the office, behind the paper thin door. Telling them thank you for everything and it was her last appointment.

She got to graduate.

I was miserable sitting there all by myself, with my barren womb.

I finally get called in and have to walk past the pregnant lady...puke.

O.K. so now I'm all up on the table ready to get sperminated. Dr. Fab looks at me and says all you had to do was sniff the medicine and I would have produced eggs. She then went on to tell me that I am very high risk for multiples. She did explain that we still only have a 20% chance this cycle for me to get pregnant, but in that chance we have a VERY good chance of getting multiples. She said that IF I'm not pregnant this cycle that she will have to drop my dosage down even more so I don't produce that many follies. I think if she would have saw how many I had on the day before (trigger day) she may have cancelled me. She said she doesn't like to do IUI's with this many follies.

I said that's fine, Mr. H and I discussed that and we are fine with twins. Dr. Fab then looked at me and said that if by some chance we fertilize more than that we will have to have selective reduction. That I am to small to carry triplets and it would be to dangerous for me and the potential babies. Ugh, what a shitty thought, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself, with that terrible thought.

So, I asked her how many mature follies I had, and she didn't answer me.

Weird.

Then I brought it up again and said, so how many are you talking about, 2 on each side? Dr. Fab looked again with that odd look and said, No, more than that. From what I could see on one side, it looked like I had 3 large follies. She said she was worried about the medium sized follies that may catch up just in time and become mature. She also said that it would be a good idea to refrain from having sex until Tuesday... Tuesday?

Well I didn't listen and we had sex on Saturday morning, took off yesterday, and will be doing it again tonight. If I end up with 3 then it's my own fault, but I want to be pregnant so very badly, I don't want to risk not having sperm there when I ovulated.

Dr. Fab also talked me about the risk that I may have to sit out a cycle because of cysts, if I'm not pregnant this cycle. She said on average the risk for cysts are usually 15%, but I have SO MANY follies that my risk is more in the 40-45% range. JEEZ that's a little bit scary. Just another reason to pray even harder that I am pregnant!

My temp shot up yesterday, but I didn't temp this morning. I totally forgot, I just got outta bed and went to the bathroom. By the time I realized I was already undressing to get into the shower. Boo for that, but whatever. It's not like my temperature today will tell me if I'm pregnant or not.

I know it's to early for symptoms and that the constant peeing is from the Hcg shot but still I'm gonna write it down, as well as the super duper sore bbs.

Pray for me!

P.S.- Anna in CA- How are you doing/feeling?

Ouch!

2009-03-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

I have hit the uncomfortable phase in this whole process. I am sore and crampy. I asked the ladies over on TTTC board and I was told that this is normal, and it's because of my enlarged ovaries. Yay for enlarged ovaries, keep growing follies! Boo for the pain, it is uncomfortable to even sit.

Last night I was instructed not to take any meds (I believe this is called coasting), and to trigger this morning. I though I would get one more romp in before the IUI. Boy was that a mistake! I had the worst cramps/ shooting pains afterward. It's nothing that I've ever felt before. The closest description I could call it is what pregnant ladies call "Lightening Crotch", quick, sharp pains. It hurt so bad and nothing I did made it go away.

Not moving- no good
Trying to move- no good
Curling in a ball- a little better, but still no good.

The whole time Mr. H is snoring away, with no clue about the pain I was in. I finally got into a position where it was bearable and fell asleep.

I woke up this morning and I an still in pain. Not as bad thank goodness, but still so uncomfortable. I would really be complaining if it wasn't for a good cause. I'm just so thankful that I responded so well and that I can actually feel things working.

IUI is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 10:30, I triggered this morning at 6:45am. I hope that the follies will release just in time for the sperm to attack them, lol. I took the day off tomorrow and I will be resting and studying, and praying that my eggs are being fertilized.

I will get a final follie count and their sizes tomorrow before the IUI. Here's hoping to 4 mature follies! I wish I knew their sizes this morning before the trigger, but oh well nothing I can do now.

TMI post & crazy emotions

2009-03-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

Just a warning.

So for the last two days I've been having tons of cm. Yesterday was tons of ewcm and today its a ton of watery & ewcm. I'm guessing it's because my poor ovaries are working on over time and they are trying to produce enough cm to get those eggies fertilized.

I am getting so nervous. Like, super crazy nervous. I'm worried that this isn't going to work, and that I am going to have to go through another cycle shooting my belly with needles. Fun times. I'm really freaking myself out. What if it does work and I have yet another M/C? What if it doesn't work this time or the next, or the time after that? What if we have to do IVF? We can't afford IVF.

The "What If's" have swarmed my head, and I can't clear them out! Ahhh, Help...I'm being attacked by a swarm of "What If's" and they won't go away!

I seriously need to be talked off the ledge today. I have been so good up until now. I don't know what happened, this morning all the wiring went wacky. I woke up in a terrible mood, yelled at poor Mr. H for no good reason, and then got even more pissed because he repeated what Dr. Fab said at our injectables consult "If anything the meds should make you happier". Happier my ass, maybe at first, but definitely not now. Now I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. That I could possibly have laser beams shoot out of my eyes if someone looks at me the wrong way, and off with their head.

I know it's got to be the drugs. I swear I am a normal person, who doesn't usually have bi-polar episodes.

If you got this far, thanks for reading.

50 iu's for the next 2 days

2009-03-16T13:45:00.000-07:00

WTH I totally thought she was gonna up my meds to 100 or 125 iu's to really get things rockin- N- rollin, but NOoooo, I was told to go down to 50iu's for the next 2 nights.

I swear I better have at least 3 mature follies in there by Friday or I am gonna be one pissed lil lady!

3 pulling ahead!

2009-03-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well my loves, today at the follie check it seems everything is progressing nicely. Dr. Fab said I have 3 follies that are pulling ahead. Two on the right side and one on the left. I didn't ask for sizes, I usually only ask once I am ready to trigger. I am really hoping to get 4 nice sized follies for this cycle, the more targets the better right? I guess I can't be to greedy though.

Dr. Fab said she is thinking that I will have the IUI on Friday, but she will have a better estimate on Wednesday after my follie check/ bw. This cycle seems to be moving along very quickly, I knew it was going to go faster, but wow I didn't know just how fast. I'm hoping to have it on Friday, because I think I am going to take the day off to relax.

In other news, I have another super duper hard test in A & P 2 on Saturday morning. I have to study like crazy this week, because I have been slacking off last week. I also have a group project coming up in the other class and I'm not 100% sure what I have to do for it yet. Fun times...

I am also going to try to transfer to another school. Nothing against the CC I'm at now, but I just don't like it. I don't think the teaching is up to par, and the campus doesn't have anything. I'm going to be applying to the regular* nursing program at the University that I graduated from. I should be able to enter as a Jr, because I already have a degree. Their nursing program is one of the best in the state and EXTREMELY hard to get into. I'm hoping they take pity on this poor old soul that has already graduated from there with a B.A. in Psychology.

*Not the accelerated program. The only take people with 3.8 and above, which is insane.

Well i'm staying the same dose

2009-03-13T11:15:00.000-07:00

The office just called and I am to stay at the same 75iu dose for the next 3 days. Is it weird that I'm bummed about this?

It is, I know it is. I am a weirdo.

I know I should be happy that the measly 75iu's are doing their job in there. I just thought she was gonna say o.k. up it to 125iu and lets get this baby rolling!

Oh well, I hope I get some good eggies puling ahead by Monday. She would like to see 4 mature follies by the time I trigger.

Crafty Mom

New knit Santa hat!

New Santa Hat!

Gavin Bryan is here :o) Lots of pictures!

37 Week update from a very bad blogger

My Beautiful Ring- Finished Pictures :o)

My baby shower :o)

35 Weeks & Update

34 weeks

31 weeks & Growth Scan update

30 weeks

An early morning complaint & bad dream

29 Weeks and updates

The ring... revisited

28 Weeks

Homemade Hats From An Expecting Mom

27 week update

I can't sleep

A new ring to celebrate our little guy

25 Weeks & lots of pictures!

23 w Belly Pics- Warning...Bare Belly

23 weeks

22 weeks (or is it 23?)

Frist Growth u/s

I'm here...sorry

IT'S A ....

Happy ICLW Everyone

17w Belly picture

17 Weeks!

16w belly pic & First baby purchase

16 weeks- What what!!!

Thanks to increasing blood flow, it's time for some major cash and prizes. Enjoy quick-growing hair and nails, smooth and firm skin, and a healthy glow. One bit of bad news -- your eyes might be feeling a little dry these days.

Baby's now the size of an avocado!Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

15 weeks and boy do I love Oranges!

Just a ramble about nothingness...and cake

First belly picture

13 weeks- I made it to the 2nd trimester!!!

We have a plum!- Week 12

11 Weeks

10 Weeks- Holy crap Double Digits!

9 Weeks!

I graduated

3rd u/s- 8 weeks!

No u/s today. Boo.

I lost my job

2nd U/S today

A few pictures from vacation

6 Weeks!

Order Up:

The letter of the day: B

Tomorrow is 5 weeks.

2nd betas in

Waiting for the call

Beta is in

Beta Day- no I dont have numbers yet lol

It's Tuesday...

7.dp.iui #1

I've been tagged!- 8 x 8 all about me!

Wonderful Sunday afternoon

WOW its been a busy week...

Welcome ICLW'ers!

Follie check and blood work day

Old Re= the Devil

Anyone Garden?

Irrational Fears

CD 1- it's been a long time

Elevated thyroid levels...and low morph...

Mother's Day Weekend

Super Early start to my day!

30 Day Shread

"The Busiest Day In Heaven"

Blip of a dream?

My pups

Things I love...

HSG results

The NEW Re & telling my boss...

1 more day until the new RE

Welcome ICLW'ers!

The forever cycle continues...Dun...dun...dun... and welcom ICLW'ers

Mr. H told me to "Just Relax"

Baby's now the size of an avocado!
Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.